“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” — Anais Nin
First things first – happy birthday to one of the best friends I’ve ever had: Alisa. Without making the hubby jealous with all my fawning over her, she truly is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I can’t imagine my life before her – it just seems like she’s always been a part of me. She’s supportive, strong and just simply an amazing woman. I hope you had a wonderful birthday!
Ok, now for the first day of the semester: I swear, I had every student that ever regularly acted up in class for attention all packed into one room – and all acting up in class for attention. About 12 of the kids are brand-new to the school – and totally testing me all over the place. Two students almost got into a brawl (I don’t know that I’ve ever heard “f*ck” used so often in such a short period of time – and as every part of speech! Now, if only I could get them to identify that “F*ck you!” is a verb, “You’re a f*cking a$$hole” is an adjective – oh, what the English teacher I would be to pounce on such an learning opportunity!) – so I had the opportunity to leave the class from hell to bring the students to the office -
- and then I had another student throw a desk.
That’s right – she threw a desk. SHE. Threw a desk.
Of course, only after she threw a stapler. I guess I should have taken that as the warning sign of what was to come. Granted, she didn’t throw the desk very far, but that’s not the point, really.
Yeah – that crap won’t fly for much longer – no pun intended.
Goddess, give me strength. Thirteen weeks. I can do this – all while convincing them that the The Great Gatsby is the best book ever. Really, I can.
Augh.

One of the highlights of living in the same town where I teach? Bumping into my students.
I was decked to the nines (is that even the right cliche?) in my baggy pants, frumpy-clumpy mules, a fleece and a hat when I bumped into E. I said hi; he looked at me like I had five heads – until I noticed that “I know this chick – who the hell is she?” look in his eyes. I jumped in and asked him if he was taking Ethics this trimester – he was.
And then the lightbulb went off – holy shit, this is my teacher. This bummy, Sunday-lazy person shopping at T.J. Maxx is my teacher.
I told him I’d see him bright and early tomorrow morning – the first day of the new trimester – and went on my way. Nevermind that I was holding the very outfit I’ll be wearing tomorrow – whatever. Hey, it could have been worse – there’s a reason why we don’t drink at any of the local bars.
(*cough* Holy shit, I’m somebody’s teacher. Ack!)

Is it just me, or are people sucking more and more every year?
I’m feeling very snarky these days. Maybe it’s the school stress, maybe I’m just getting older, maybe it’s the way the holiday season generally brings out anything but the good in people in a retail setting. It’s all, rush, rush, rush and me, me, me – two things I really, really hate. I’ve yet to feel that goody holiday spirit from anyone, really.
Like the woman at PetSmart yesterday, who rang us up and asked if we wanted to donate money to a stray shelter. When I answered (quite nicely, with a bit of a laugh) that we took in a stray who’s cost us plenty on his own, she made a face and snippily scanned the rest of the items. Listen, lady – I’ll trade you the $1 donation for the $517 vet bill we’ve racked up in the past five days because of Walker, and we’ll both go on our merry ways, mmmmm ‘kay?
I’m cranky like that lately. I get irritated at people who make me feel crappy for not donating anything right then and there. What do they know of the checks I write at home to my favorite charitable organizations? What do they know of my habit of buying Salvation Army Santas hot cocoa when it’s wicked cold outside and they’re there for hours ringing that bell? Don’t give me a snide look because I didn’t drop my quarters in your little basket, mmmmm ‘kay?
And how about the people who fly through the parking lots, oblivious to the massive amounts of shoppers walking to and from the stores? Jay and I had to jump back from some Dodge Ram that came zooming around a corner in a crowded lot, just to make sure we didn’t become parking lot pancakes. That’s right, buddy, keep going your merry, thoughtless little way, mmmm ‘kay?
Anyone want to buy me snarkykat.com for Christmas?
That said, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving with way too much food. I’m looking to this week to detox a little and begin to feel human again. New trimester begins tomorrow with a bunch of new students – I’m looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to a fresh start, picking up the pieces I dropped as a new teacher last semester. And maybe, just maybe, that happy holiday spirit will find its way. I’m all about being cheerful, and I know it needs to start with me, and I know it’s contagious – but really – some people just need to be hit over the head with a brick. A really big, heavy brick. Or a baseball bat – that would be fun!
Really – I’m a loving, caring person. I swear.

To the rude, inconsiderate, man with no manners who cut in front of 150+ people in line, who felt the need to speak very loudly into his cell, giving his wife directions on the best way to cut into line to get where he was so they could get their (obviously more important) kids into the IMAX, 3-D version of Polar Express before all the good, respectful people who got there early enough to wait in line for over an hour to get their kids good seats:
You SUCK. You are the very definition of masshole. I do not feel bad at all that you almost didn’t have 3-D glasses. I hope the motion made you sick and that your children realize early on in life that your crude, selfish ways are no way to live their lives – and tell you as much. It scares me that you’re responsible for instilling morals in four young children.
As if it wasn’t bad enough being stuck next to you in line for thirty minutes as you crept up to push your way past us as well – I don’t know what we did to deserve you sitting your loud ass self next to us, too. It was all we could do to keep from throwing things at you and telling you exactly what we think of you. I will tell you this, though: I would not – and did not – let your inconsiderate self-righteousness ruin my wonderful viewing of the movie with my husband, mom and dad – kind people who respect those around them.
That’s not to say I didn’t reeeeeeally want to trip you on your way out of the theater.
Way to start off the holiday season, masshole.
-Erika

So I get home after a 100% shit day, and Jay drags me into the kitchen and tells me to close my eyes. I hear lots of rustling and cabinets and the freezer – and then he tells me to open my mouth really wide.
That’s trust, my friend.
Creamy – crunchy – dark, crumbly chocolate bits. Oreos dipped in Cool Whip. How much do I love this guy?

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Nothing like completely letting the domain renewal slide by. Holy panic this morning when I realized the site was gone – and that no one actually claimed to hold the registration for snazzykat.com. Fifteen phone calls and three hours later, a kind man renewed this for me on the faith that I was who I said I was. What a nightmare.
Phew. Now if I could only get rid of this amazing headache and the fear of what the next week’s going to bring – papers to grade, finals to grade, final reports to write, new classes, new books, new lesson plans, new students – and oh yeah, a house full of guests for Thanksgiving.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHH!!

Dear political bloggers (or bloggers who feel the need to get all political):
Here’s the deal. I don’t give a shit. No, really – I don’t. Everyone on the right thinks the left is evil, and everyone on the left thinks the right is evil. All the energy you’re wasting digging up all that ridiculously biased news crap that “supports” your side really could be used for so many healthier things – like getting your ass out there and doing something to better the world instead of spending hours trying to prove just how right you are. Because really, everybody hates someone who just has to be right and spends hours trying to prove it.
Whew. I feel better now. Now if you’d all just recognize that I’m always right, we’d be good to go.
Signed,
Snarky kat

The hubby is having the worst morning. I’m sure he’ll tell the whole story, but it involves $390 worth of car repairs and a hike up a ladder to break into our second story bedroom window.
So really, I can’t complain about my day, right?
I’m teaching The Great Gatsby next semester (which, for us, is really next trimester and starts next Monday). I’m psyched. Of course, I haven’t read it since high school – looks like I’ve got homework over the turkey day break! The kids have been doing internet research to get a feel for the Roaring 20s. They want me to bring someone in to teach them the Charleston. One student has already made up a poster about Al Capone. The class wants to plan a “dinner party” ala Gatsby himself – minus the bathtub gin, of course – and require students to come in dressed in period costume. And I’m bringing in the ol’ Victrola to play some music as they decorate the room and bulletin board to reflect major themes and events of the 1920s.
The kids are trying to convince me to take them – all 38 of them – on a field trip to Long Island so they could get a real “feel” for the setting. I can see it now: “Hi, mom, dad? Can I have 38 of my rugrats crash on your living room and dining room floors? You’ll hardly even notice that they’re there. Really.”
Yeah. Right. Still – this teaching thing is freakin’ fun!

Holy hell, that rocked!
Alisa wasn’t kidding when she said a day full of spa wonderfulness! She picked me up at 12:30 and whisked me off to Innovations for all sorts of cool spoils.
We slipped on the softest robes (quite possibly the most amazing thing I’ve ever put on), massage-y sandals and padded up carpeted steps to the lounge, where we awaited direction. We were both scheduled for the same treatments, just at different times. The lounge was filled with soft light, comfy couches, relaxing music and wine glasses full of water. Total luxury.
I figured she had planned manis and pedis – little did I know what I was in for:

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Hi! This is Alisa posting:
I have kidnapped Erika for a day of pampering and I am declaring today Blogosphere Snazzykat Appreciation Day!
Please leave comments here to show your love and appreciation for all that is snazzykat!