Bwahahahahah. I love the last-minute freak out the students go through when they have a major project due.
I particularly savor the little power trip I get to go on now – if they’ve spent the class time working hard, five minutes before the end I’ll tell them that class is almost over. They freak out, at which point I pull my, “Ohhhhh-kay. (sigh) Since you’ve been working soooo hard, I guess you can have some time to work on it tomorrow.”
Besides, I gave them little springy froggie stickers today because it’s so rainy and dreary and we need a little “spring” in our school. (Get it? Frog? Hop? Spring? Yeah.) Really, I can only be so nice.
Five minutes and I get to watch the freak out show. It’s wrong of me, I know, to play with them like that, but really – it’s just too much fun not to.

Things that suck today:

1. This cold, which is worse by the day and is just miserable enough to keep me from doing normal human things, but just not miserable enough to knock me completely on my ass.

2. The pile of papers I’m working through, even though I’m in a medicine-induced haze and my comments are sounding just as grammatically incorrect as my students’ writing.
3. The messy house, which I definitely don’t have the energy to clean.
4. The damned sunshine, a constant reminder that I’m way too fuzzy to go outside and do anything fun.
5. Feeling way behind on everything – even my car is a mess, and I only spend 10 minutes in it each day!
6. Me. I suck today. Wah wah wah. Stupid cold.

One of the best things EVER about teaching in a small charter school:
My English 1 class is very small – 8 students total. Their levels are all over the place – non-readers, ELLs, borderline English 2s. Nevermind that their interests are all over the place, and nevermind that only *2* have EVER finished a single book.
Yay for at-risk kids who fall through the educational gaps -
and right to meeeeee. I LOVE this. We took a field trip to the bookstore (they couldn’t remember the last time they were in a bookstore!), where they got to pick ANY book they were interested in, as long as it wasn’t a picture book. The higher level students picked books appropriate for them, and the lower levels picked books appropriate for them. Even better – they’re INTERESTED in the books! This one really tough kid picked a book about a tough fifth-grade boy who feels like an outcast. This student has never read a book – and he wouldn’t put this one down!
*grin*
So I’m doing a “book club” style class with them. Sure, it means lots of reading for me over the next few weeks, but it also means that once a week, I get to take them to the coffee house where they get to sip hot cocoa and relax in the couches in the back room and read. I know very few, if any, get to escape their lives for a simple pleasure I take for granted.
God I love my job!

I’m completely fed up with my students acting like wild, immature fifth-graders, so today’s assignment: as a class, come up with a list of “rules” that would make the classroom a safe learning environment without distractions. Then – and this is my favorite part – in small groups, they had to come up with the consequences for breaking any of these rules. I collected the sheets and on Monday, they’ll vote on the best consequence for each rule. Then the rules and consequences will be posted where they can see them each and every day. I’m also thinking of rewarding them for a week without a single rule being broken (as a class – they need to keep each other in check).
Anyway – my favorite from their lists:
If you have a BF (bitch fit) with another student, both students must come to the front of the room and sing the Barney, “I love you, you love me” song in front of the class.
Sooooooooo much better than anything I could have come up with!

Hi. I’m here. Really – ok, well, just sorta.
I’ve gotten about half of the picture requests taken. Unfortunately, our term ended on Monday, we started a new term today, all our final grades and reports are due AND I’ve got all my classes to prep for. Plus I spent the weekend icky sick, then toss a couple of random meetings and celebrations on there, and you have one exhausted me.
Yeah.
So I’m responsible for a group of twenty-odd (and I do mean odd) students, much like a guidance counselor would be – except I meet with these students every day. Every staff has their own advising group. I have a lot of the new, young students – code for, “Not so mature and student-like yet, so we’re going to give them all to the new teacher.” My group is endearingly out of control. Sure, I can tolerate it – but when other students blatantly refuse to come to my group because they’re so wild, there might be a *teensy* bit of a problem. So what if I embrace their energy and let them express themselves in their own special ways? (Ok, yeah, so that’s code for, “I have no control over them whatsoever” – but I’m okay with that. ) My advisees love me and I love them and they know I’d do anything to support them. And that’s what matters, right?
So today, in Advising, my “I’ve had Ms. L for two semesters now” students took the liberty to act out “Ms. L” to the new students, complete with raised eyebrow and a recitation (in unison) of some of my favorite phrases:
“If it’s on the board, it’s fair game for a quiz.”
“It’s not my repsonsibility to provide you with a pen. Come to class prepared.”
“I won’t make you do anything.”
“It’s your choice. But there are consquences to all your decisions.”
“Yo, yo, yo, what’s UP my nigga?”
Apparently, I say these things a lot. A lot. (Well, except for that last one – which I’ll apparently never live down.) And of course, these were all completed with a fake falsetto and a touch of sarcasm, but is was still kind of funny to watch my students walk around imitating me. They warned that I make fun of them (it’s all out of love, I swear!) and that I call everyone “Sweetie.” And then they went back to being my obnoxious students whom I can’t help but to love dearly.
Rotten angels. 13 more weeks.

I have this student who refuses to call me by my name. For a long time it was “Yo, English teacher!” Then it was, “Yo, English!” These days it’s a short and sweet, “Yo, Teach!” He really struggles with writing, but he’s made incredible strides since the beginning of the year. Today he was on fire, and I was able to hand him the pen and nudge him to make his own corrections. He left with another student, and I overheard him say, “Yeah, that’s why I go to her for help. She’s really smart.”
*giggle* What he doesn’t realize is he just showed me how smart he really is. So I marched my butt over and told him. It’s kind of sad how excited I get when they use semicolons correctly, but such is the life of an English teacher, I suppose.
Anyway, I did this once before (with pictures here), but since it’s going to be crappy out again tomorrow, I figured it’d be a good time to pull out the camera –

Think of 3 pictures you’d like to see. Things around my house, or whatever… something I can take a picture of easily. Once I have enough requests, I’ll start posting them. If I can’t, or won’t, take a picture of something you’ve requested, I’ll let you know.

Can’t wait to see the requests!

I made this at art.com and Jay said I should share it with all of you. So here it is. (Put the replay speed on fast, it won’t be as painfully long.)

Deep dark secret #221:
Whenever I hear those first few beats of David Bowie/Queen’s “Under Pressure,” I hold my breath in the anticipation that it just might be “Ice, Ice Baby” instead.
And when it’s not, I go ahead and sing it anyway.
All right – stop – collaborate and listen, Ice is back with a brand new invention …

So I’ve spent my snow day at school, grading their redesigned book covers of The Great Gatsby, reading their outlines for their ethics papers, working on the short stories curriculum for next term and generally wondering why the hell I wasn’t at home under the covers, reading something for fun.
Nevermind that I left my PB & J at home, and I’m stahving. Don’t mess with me and my PB & J.
Short stories that have already wormed their way into my curriculum for the spring:
English 1

• W.W. Jacobs, The Monkey’s Paw

• Jack London, To Build A Fire
• Roald Dahl, Beware of the Dog

English 2:

• Ray Bradbury, The Foghorn (one of my all-time favorite stories)

• Amy Tan, A Pair of Tickets
• Ernest Hemingway, A Clean, Well-Lighted Place
• Shirley Jackson, The Lottery
• Gabriel Garcia Marquez, A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings (or Eyes of a Blue Dog or The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World)
• Jamaica Kincaid, Girl
• Sherman Alexie, This is What it Means to Say Phoenix, Arizona (this is the short story the film Smoke Signals was based on)

I came up with a fun idea for teaching process writing to my English 1s. I’m going to bring in a bunch of different foods – oreos, mangoes, etc – and have them write out all the steps involved in the very best way to eat that food. (Take the oreo in your left hand and gently twist the top off with your right hand.)
Ok, I’m going home now. Really.

Dear Mother Nature,
Yup, me again. I’m tired of being nice. You’re a cold, heartless bitch. One or two snow days are a wonderful gift – but FIVE snow days in one term? Our trimester ends on Friday, I HAVE FINALS TO GIVE TODAY and you go and dump 7 inches of snow on us? And really – these wind chills have no business coming to visit in March. I can’t afford a snow day today! When my students all whine and bitch and freak that they don’t have enough time to finish all their papers, projects and final exams this week, I’m sending them to you.
You suck, Mother Nature.
Ms. L