Every so often, I poke around craigslist in the delusion that I will find Jay the perfect job that pays insanely well and doesn’t require a 90 minute commute, each way.
I just found a job with the BEST job description:
As part of the Data Security group performs risk assessments, penetration testing, incident response and investigations.
Hahahahahah. Penetration testing. How does that work at cocktail parties?
What do you do for work?
I’m a penetration tester.
Really? What does that entail?
Well, I test penetration and report any incidents. Occasionally, we need to investigate, too, but that’s only if the penetration was severe enough.
Sometimes I am so 12 years old.

One upon a time, before Sammy was here or maybe up until he was crawling, Jay and I swore up and down that babies don’t need a lot of things. We swore off plastic toys and Little Tikes and all things Bad for the Environment. I think I may have even said, “He’ll play with wooden trains and cornhusk dolls. It was good enough for the prairie kids, right?”
I think I may have even said it twice. Okay, okay, maybe fifty times. Whatever. I think Jay even had the delusion that he would carve wooden blocks for Sammy. Great in theory, but who has time for that with a crazy toddler in the house?
Yeah. Do I need to tell you that my house looks like a Playskool warehouse threw up?
Now, I vaguely get people who like to confine their kids’ stuff to one room. (I will never get, however, those people who don’t want their houses to look like a kid lives there. Those people – and this might be harsh – should not have children. Seriously – your child is just as much a part of the family as you are, they have just as much right to have toys kicking around as you do your remote or iPod. And there you go – mean Eka. Sop it up while you can, I don’t let her out to play very often. )
ANYWAY, I vaguely get the playroom idea. I, however, enjoy the constant reminder that my son lives with us, plays with us and shares our space with us. Maybe it’s because of his heart, because we weren’t sure he’d be able to play with the toys, because we weren’t sure – yeah. Whatever the reason, I enjoy having his stuff around, and I’m getting a real kick out of watching him start to imitate us (he’s obsessed with sweeping the kitchen!). I’ve been eyeing kitchens for him for a while, but I still hold pretty dear to the idea that I don’t want to buy plastic new. I’ve been poking around craigslist but haven’t seen much of what I wanted, and while there are cool wooden kitchens, we just can’t plunk down $100 for one right now.
Do I need to tell you that we made three trips to a yard sale down the block because we just couldn’t pass up all the insane bahgains she had? For under $20 total, we got – all in ridiculously excellent condition – this Easy Store Play Table (perfect for Falcon Ridge), this Home Improvements Workshop and a Little Tikes brick oven pizza kitchen I can’t seem to be able to find online. There were other things, too – a large Little People barn with animals, a pop-up tent for naps at Falcon Ridge and another little workbench. (Let’s not even discuss the art desk we picked up last week for $5, also in like new condition.)
At least I feel better knowing that we’ve recycled some of the plastic, instead of buying new and letting these toys end up in a landfill somewhere. And just as we bought them, I’m sure we’ll hand them down to friends or sell them off to another family when Sammy outgrows them. But still – Little Tikes threw up in our house. Seriously.
I know, right now, my mom is chuckling to herself. I know she’s been biting her tongue as we bring each new toy into the house, but I’m certain this time she’s letting a little, “Told you so” slip through each little laugh. I’m holding onto the argument that babies don’t need all this stuff, but toddlers? That’s a whole new ballfield. It’s all good, because now I can laugh each time one of our new parent friends absolutely insists that they won’t be buying all that plastic crap for their kids either. (Though there’s no need to – we clearly have more than enough to go around. Heh.)

A Red Sox fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Yankees fan he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious NY pinstripe shirt. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them.
One day, while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, “Where are you going, Father?”
“I’m going to give Mass at St. Francis Church, about two miles down the road,” replied the priest.
“Climb in, Father. I’ll give you a lift!”
The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Suddenly, the driver saw a Yankees fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him.
But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD.
Not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn’t see anything. He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, “Sorry, Father, I almost hit that Yankees fan.”
“That’s OK,” replied the priest, “I got him with the door.”

1. Before I get into the more serious stuff, here’s a promo code for you – $25 off $50 plus free shipping at Soma. Use code 7702. Happy shopping!

2. Cardiologist appointment on Tuesday went very well. Well, until he made mention of Sammy’s next surgery, the Fontan. Otherwise, his heart sounds great, and he said the tricuspid regurgitation sounds better than it did last time, when it sounded better than the time before, which sounded better than the time before that.
3. We ran into Sammy’s surgeon in the hallway. He said he didn’t want to downplay the seriousness of it, of course, but that “each surgery gets easier than the one before”. I don’t know that I believe him, but it was a great source of comfort. We thanked him, and I had to stop and repeat it with a tad bit more emotion: “No, really, thank you.” How do you thank the man who helped give your son life?
4. I’ve unsubscribed from the HLHS support list and I’ve stopped following a few of the kids. There have been some really rough Fontan surgeries and recoveries lately, and we’ve lost a few children along the way. This is too much for me emotionally, so I made the difficult decision to take a break for a while. It’s hard – you feel as though this community has given you so much support, that to walk away feels a tad selfish, especially with so many families going through so much. But – I need to focus on me and my family right now. I feel lighter already.
5. We visited a few nursery schools the other day. We walked into one, which was a disaster. The woman answered the door barefoot, in a wifebeater with a kid on her hip. The director wasn’t around, either, and the walls looked like they were covered in handprints of mustard and ketchup. Needless to say, we couldn’t get out of there fast enough. The other two schools were good, though the one I liked was insanely expensive – $1500 a month! It seems as though no one does half-days for infant-toddlers, so we’d be stuck paying for full-day, even though he’ll only be there 3-4 hours a day. Still, Sammy took to both schools immediately and barely noticed we were still in the room with him. He went up to each kid, waved hi and then sat down and started playing. We have trial half-days for each, so I think we’ll be trying them out soon.
6. We’re starting to potty train Sammy. We’ve heard that there’s a window early on, and if you miss it, you’re out of luck. We figure, we’ll try but we won’t push the matter. If it works, great, if not, we weren’t expecting him to be trained by 2 anyway, so no great loss. He wanted to sit on the big potty yesterday, then climbed down, closed the lid and waved byebye. Oh, how sweet the thought of no more diapers!
7. Less than one month to Falcon Ridge. I’m so excited, I actually twitch a bit when I think about it.
8. I still have some questions to answer, including one that involves pictures. I’m getting to it, I promise.

Sammy’s always been pretty good about letting us know when he was finished with something – he’d push it away, be it a book, bottle or lunch, shake his head and say, “All done!”
Just now, he went and sat quietly behind his Weeble castle. I knew what was coming – he sits quietly when he’s pooping – but I didn’t expect what came next:
He stood up, looked right at me and said, “All done!” – then got up and waddled past me, the smell of poop wafting by.
Good to know, Sammy. Thanks for the head’s up.

I asked for one thing for my birthday and I got it – a bottle of Hendrick’s gin. I had it for the first time about a week ago, and it ROCKS. Apparently, according to Jay’s coworkers, wanting a bottle of gin and not flowers or jewelry makes me one cool wife.
The photo’s a little shaky, but I don’t have time to take any others because we have a babysitter – Alisa! – and we’re going to the movies. Woo hoo! Of course, we’re leaving the baby to go see a movie about babies (Knocked Up)… but this will be our first movie since Sammy was born (aside from our attempt to watch Happy Feet with a one-year-old). I’ve heard good things about the movie, and Sammy’s getting to the point where he’s easier to leave at home with someone. (Ok, ok, mama’s getting to the point where it’s easier to leave him…) It’ll be nice to get out for a little while.
32 really doesn’t feel any different than 31, just another year down. If anything, I feel more adult now that I’ve moved from Mr. Boston to Tanqueray to Hendricks. Now THAT’s maturing! Happy birthday to me!

From a fantastic new mama, Jesser: Ever want to live anywhere besides Boston? If so, where and why?
Ahhh. Who didn’t want to live in Tuscany after Under the Tuscan Sun? Seriously, though, I’d love to live in Italy for a while. And somewhere on the west coast, maybe northern California. I’d love to live back in the Adirondacks again, but there’s just no real job market. But I love Boston – some days I wish we even lived right in the city. And ready for this one? A commune in Vermont. Seriously. Acres and acres of land with our own little town – just friends and family. With a large garden, shared babysitting/childrearing, eco-friendly living and lots of together-time.
What sort of things are you looking for in your new house or a future “dream house” (i.e. secret passage, treehouse trees, etc.)? An old farmhouse with a wrap-around porch, English garden and a brook running through the backyard. That was easy.
One day all to yourself, aside from hanging with your family and friends, what would you spend it doing? At the spa, which is a good thing considering I’ve got two gift certificates to use up one of these days! Maybe kayaking on a quiet river. Something quiet and peaceful.
Along the same lines as the most recent questions … what are you watching (TV or DVDs) right now? A whole hell of a lot of Dora – more than I’d like to admit. And now that Sammy can say Elmo! Elmo!, there’s a considerable amount of Sesame Street as well. Buffy reruns. During the season, I wait all week for Monday night – we’re HUGE How I Met Your Mother fans. Otherwise, I try to keep the TV off during the day.
What things (material or not) are you currently coveting? More time with friends and family. An English garden. A Volvo XC. Someone to scrub down the house (top-to-bottom, inside and out) for me. A cleaned-off porch with cozy cottage furniture – for dinner, reading, hanging out.
Another one from Krista: I know your profile says you teach at-risk youth, but what exactly does that entail? I feel like I should know this!
This is pretty easy to answer. Basically, our students need to be previous high school dropouts or “at serious risk” of dropping out. Most of our students come from low-income families, immigrant families, are gang involved, are young parents, have undiagnosed learning and/or emotional disabilities – and most of them just made poor choices along the way. Many are wholly responsible for younger siblings, and many work nights to support their families.The majority will be the first in their household to graduate high school.
It sounds like a rough gig, and some days it is. (Thankfully, though, I think the stapler-throwing days are over.) But these kids are fantastic. They bring so much to the classroom, and really – they just need someone to believe in them, as hokey as that sounds. Many of them come from abusive/neglected backgrounds with poor role models, and it’s nice to be an adult in their lives that they can trust. Plus – they’re lots of fun when they’re not driving me absolutely batty.

From another college friend and wonderful support – and fellow Miles for Miracles team member – Susan: OK…here’s an obvious one: What have you read lately that you could recommend? I need something to read at the beach that doesn’t fall into that “beachy” category.
Hahahahahaha. Read a book. You’re funny. You have two young girls – you should know that there’s no time to read a book. Hahahahaha.
Ok, seriously. You want to know what’s on my nightstand?

1. The 7 Stages of Motherhood: Loving Your Life without Losing Your Mind by Ann Pleshette Murphy

2. Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children by Sarah Napthali. (Thank you, Anathea!)
3. 365 Nirvana Here And Now: Living Every Moment In Enlightenment, edited by Josh Baran. (FANTASTIC book, by the way. A collection from poets and religious texts – one page snippets on living in the moment. And yes, that’s my review on amazon.com.)
4. How to Get Your Kid to Eat… But Not Too Much by Ellyn Satter.
5. A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman by Joan Anderson. Made it about halfway through this one, keep meaning to pick it back up.
6. The Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards. This, actually, was on my nightstand until I gave it to Alisa on Thursday. I want to read it, but the content is a little too emotional for my fragile state right now.

I WILL recommend one of the last books I read before Master Samson entered the world: Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress by Dai Sijie. Fantastic read. I gave my copy away, but I plan on picking up another for a reread. Great book.
Also – one of my all-time favorites, The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk. Don’t let the size intimidate you, and if you do pick it up, give yourself the first hundred pages. Trust me. They’re slow-going, but once you break the 100-page mark, you won’t put it down. I taught this back at Binghamton, and the students LOVED it. It’s helpful if you’ve read The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, but not necessary.
I am trying to get through Order of the Phoenix again before the movie comes out, and then I’ll work through Half-Blood Prince before reading book 7. But that might require some creative page-flipping over the next few weeks.
Also, some suggestions for my iPod?
Oh man. Where to start? Keep in mind, I tend to the folk-rock genre. If you don’t have any Eddie from Ohio in there, grab stuff from either Three Rooms or This is Me, preferably “And the Rain Crashed Down” and “Adios, Lorena”.
Love, love, loving Richard Shindell. Grab Courier or just get your hands on his cover of Willin’ (I’m also a sucker for “The Kenworth of my Dreams.”). His new release – all covers – is supposed to be fantastic, too.
The Nields – “Georgia O”, “This Town is Wrong”, “Jennifer Falling Down” – though really anything on Live from Northampton is great. Georgia O is a great driving song.
Go grab Live Across a Wire – Counting Crows. Everyone should own it. I’m not kidding.
For the parents out there, you should be listening to Dan Zanes. He’s so great, Jay’s got a playlist of just Dan Zanes and the Shins. Seriously – he’s so good, we listen to him – and enjoy it! – without Sammy. Also get some Justin Roberts – fun stuff for the kiddies.
More Q & As later on…. Keep ‘em coming!

I’m really loving this – keep ‘em coming!
From that kooky, fun-loving Wendy:
What happens if Sammy decides he likes the Yankees? Or really cheap beer? Or you know, those other things that you and Jay hate. I’ll forgive him for being a Yankees fan, the same way my father has forgiven me (I think) for switching to the Dark Side. Seriously, though, one of my fears is that Sammy will grow up and become homophobic, anti-social-program, pro-war, pro-gun, anti-everything we stand for. I’ve always said, “As long as he’s happy…” but what that really means is, “As long as he’s happy and a positive, contributing member of society with good values that reflect our own.” I like to believe that we have a large role in shaping who he becomes, but I know there’s more to it than just us. After all, my parents are Republican (just not the homophobic, pro-gun type). Hmmm… I wonder if they ever sat around and said things like, “As long as she’s happy… and not a Red Sox cheering hippie Democrat.”
What other names did you guys talk about for the monkey? I don’t remember what the potential boy names were, but we were settled on a girl name, one I’m loathe to share should someone else snatch it up: Annabella Sonnet. Jay came up with it. Anna Begins is our favorite Counting Crows song. I’ve always loved the name Ella. Everyone seemed to be naming their daughter Isabelle or Isabella, and we wanted something different. Sonnet seemed to fit the bill, too – because it was unusual, melodic and literary.
Are you still in touch with your girls from the teen center? A few. Two of them showed up out of the blue at my front door a few weeks ago – a very happy, pleasant surprise. They’re both doing well, which was so good to hear. Every so often, another one seems to come out of the blue, and there’s always one or two kids at school who are related to one of the kids from the teen center, which is nice.