smileyjess

long time, no type
listening to: down by 311
well, eka switched servers for the snazzykat family, and in the process i lost just a few entries. but dont panic! :)
well let's see. it's been a while, i know. but i have a really good excuse!!! pegasus!! oh, man. that stuff is awful! let's do a recap of last week. monday- stressed. tuesday- stressed. wednesday-stressed. thursday- rip-out-my-hair-and-scream. friday- fuck it attitude.
friday was definitely the best day of last week.
i couldnt even pay attention in school. we even had a vocab test on friday... and i cant even remember what i wrote about, never mind what words i used. that should be an interesting test to get back....
friday also marked the official end of robjournal.
the whole ride home i kept telling andy that i was going to do pegasus as soon as i got home. i swear. "i'm going to do pegasus as soon as i get home." yeahhhh right, who was i kidding? please! i had been kidding myself since septemberrrrrrrrr! 8 months! whats another 12 hours going to do? so i came home, did a tiny bit of pegasus. then rye called and was like lets go see the matrix reloaded. i was so there. he picked me up at 6, with anthony. we went to the theater, and lied about our ages, and got in. (with a little help from mike mckenna :)) the movie fucking rocked my socks off. i cannot wait for the third one. this one was just positively insane. i can't even begin to fathom what the next one is going to be like. i know some people didn't like it for one reason or another, but i just loved every minute of it! i had watched the first one on wednesday in preparation, a refresher course, if you will. i dont know which one i liked more. probably the first, just because it's classic. well, not classic. but the original. kieran and i were talking about how after the third one is made, no one is ever going to try to make another movie after it. theyll all just be like ok you win we give up. haha
came home around 10ish and actually worked a little more on pegasus. and actually, but a little, i mean until 2am. the library supposedly opened at 10, so i planned to hit that up as soon as it opened. 850 my mom woke me up and was like get ready to go ill drop you off in 10 minutes. so i think i set some records in getting dressed and putting my contacts in and gathering all the pegasus shit (which, surprisingly, was quite a lot!) i stayed at the library until 2 o clock. it was just nuts. see, i absolutely cannot work at home. i get distracted so easily you might even think i have a.d.d. or something. its really bad. i get distracted by food for crying out loud, in addition of course to the fam and stuff outside. i mean sure, i hate the library just as much as the next guy, but spending that much time there is something i have to do.
later on saturday i was going to the hendi semi with matt mcmanus. i love that kid soooo much! we met at the original hendi homecoming, last year. along with his twin brother, kevin, we are celebrating our 19 month anniversary on the 27th. we never really get to hang out, but talk often enough. so i was super stoked that we were going to the semi. i went over his house around 630ish and we did the whole picture thing. his whole family rocks. then bill and his date stacy showed up. and andy, minus his date. kevin's girlfriend was becoming a soldier of God that evening, and would not be joining us. so kevin went with some chick. they just met each other at the dance lol. i hearted kev's suit, but happy at the same time that matt decided not to wear the yellow plaid. next dance, though, next dance. i just didnt think the public could handle two plaid suits, you know?
afterward we all went to greggies. and by we all i mean rye lena bill rach bill stacy kyle (no date que triste!) kev and his date (i never learned her name) andy sam... maybe some other random people in there too. came home, pegasus. churched it up. last ccd class, which lasted 10 minutes. i hadnt been in about a month and a half. i was half-hoping maybe id get kicked out. i dont want to make my confirmation. in fact all he said was that if you dont really intend on being a practicing catholic, you shouldnt make your confirmation. too bad i cant say anything. oh well. maybe theres a special way the church takes the holy spirit out of you????
then shelby's violin concert thingy. for. four. hours.
pegasus. pegasus. pegasus. i didnt even open my backpack for regular homework.
i presented period f today. it went okay i guess. im just happy it's over. oh. so. happy. i got 3 lunch periods because i didn't take gym. sweet. awesome rest of the day. andy and john and i hit up the npc for ice cream on this beautiful 90 degree day. dropped john off, came home. sat in the sun for a little while, built my second prototype.
a perfect afternoon. friends and ice cream and sun and chemistry

buck was also in attendence at the semi!

yeah tuesday. nothing happened at all. school, rocket. it flew 248 feet! score! i just don't know what i'm going to do for my next prototype and then the final. maybe i'll attempt a double bottle rocket. i dont think i could handle a three bottle rocket, mostly because we don't even drink soda. i had to pour a whole 2 liter bottle of sprite down the drain just to use the bottle i used today.

had junior lunch (sorry, motta!!! much love). heard some interesting anecdotes from will and john that kept me smiling the whole day.

came home, sat outside, ran, practiced guitar, read. now here.

no homework!

more later fools-----

excellent day at school, long period gym. i havent been sleeping at all since last thursday, today i finally fell asleep on the bus. mouth open and everything. yeah i know it was hot. ohhhhh well. ask me how much i really care. go ahead ask!

came home, jammed on la guitarra. ate. slept.

got mad.

got happy again.

thought of some people. smiled.

listened to the wallflowers and it's all better now.

i'm letting it go now.

goodbye

Babybird by Jakob Dylan and the Wallflowers

Come back babybird
With your dirty wings in tatters
Come home where you belong
Nobody knows you better
Now bring back your velvet heart
And we'll make you brand new feathers
Sleep through the morning light
With your arms around your brother

Babybird
come back home
Babybird
you were never really on your own

Now outside faces cry
With the tears of lonesome orphans
And behind every mask
is the face of another
Wherever you have been
wherever you took cover
No arms that pulled you in
could hold you like your mother

Babybird
come back home
Babybird
you were never really on your own

When all my colors fade
And my wings, they've turned to leather
I'll know the reasons why
God let me get older
When all my days are through
And I fly these hills no longer
I'll lay beneath the stars
And I'll watch you flying over

Babybird
come back home
Babybird
you were never really on your own

Babybird
come back home
Babybird
you will never be all alone

listening to: another perfect day by old school american hi-fi (does anyone else remember them?????)

i dont know what it is this week, but things have just been going my way for once. i think it's because i'm not talking to anyone who's depressed or cynical or bringing me down. ((rolls eyes)) i was just so sick of all the damn drama and blew up yesterday. good thing about blowing up is that now all of that crap has left me. this is why i feel so wonderful!!!

recently got the cd breach by the wallflowers, thus completing my wallflowers collection. i spread the love of jakob to john by giving him a copy of red letter days. if you have not heard any songs off this cd, i urge you to pirate/buy them. soooooo good.

my gym/study dropped out today, but i wasnt nearly as upset about it as i usually am because i had like, no homework last night. tonight i have a bit. i'm going to read some more vonnegut for english, in case he gives us a test tomorrow (but i have it short period... hmm.... so maybe i wont do that....), some alg2 that makes no sense due to the fact that my teacher doesnt teach. and i just wrapped up my third prototype rocket for chem! i went crazy and designed a double bottle one. i even took the time to do this flanging thing he talked about. hopefully it works. so far no one else's double bottle rocket in my class has flown. we'll see.

i dont think i'm going to write much today, simply because i'm in a good mood and i feel like doing something other than just sitting here at my computer. maybe i'm so happy because today is thursday and that equals tomorrow being friday. and friday equals fun. friday ?=? matt m.? (matt, want to do something on friday?) and friday also equals day before saturday. and saturday, as long as it doesnt rain (IT BETTER NOT RAIN!!!!!!!) equals beach! and rachels play. and kieran's shindig. also, 3 day weekend.

or maybe i'm still happy because of the people i was with at senior lunch?

1. My name is Jess.
2. I am from Rhode Island.
3. I hate it here. I cannot wait for the day to leave this state.
4. I want to live in California, preferably southern.
5. If I had to live in the New England area, it would probably be in Boston.
6. I think I could live in New York City, but probably only for a few years.
7. I’ve been to New York City more times than Boston.
8. I am obsessed with music.
9. My favorite band is the Dave Matthews Band.
10. I have 17 DMB cd’s, total. The only cd’s I am lacking are Live from Red Rock (because I’m cheap, and it’s another double disk-er) and Recently (a rare 7 track lp)
11. I could listen to Dave for hours on end, and never tire of him.
12. I do listen to other stuff, as well. I love Sublime, the Wallflowers, old school No Doubt, Ben Folds, Phish, Weezer, Nirvana, Everclear, the Beatles, the Stones, Bob Marley, Bob Dylan, Better than Ezra, the Gin Blossoms, Radiohead, Red Hot Chili Peppers, U2, and the Steve Miller Band. Also Lisa Loeb, Jewel, Carly Simon, Janis Joplin, and Joni Mitchell
13. This is my favorite number.
14. Wow, I already don’t know what else to say
15. I play the guitar. I currently own an Alvarez acoustic and Washburn electric in red.
16. I hate my Washburn.
17. I’m on a seemingly never-ending search for the Holy Grail of electric guitars.
18. I love Godin guitars.
19. And I also love the Schecter PT Custom.
20. I’d rather have either of 18 or 19 than my own car.
21. My birthday is 5 April.
22. Kurt Cobain died on my birthday.
23. I can’t write poetry.
24. I forgot to mention that I suck at the guitar.
25. I want to go to Yale.
26. Stanford is for graduate school.
27. I am a perfectionist.
28. When I am eating any kind of varied colored candy (i.e.- Starburst, Skittles, M&M’s), I have to organize them by color first, and then I can eat them.
29. Friends is my favorite show.
30. Chandler is my favorite
31. “Gum would be perfection.”
32. My closest is organized by color.
33. Yellows, greens, blues, reds, whites
34. Striped clothes through me off like you wouldn’t believe!
35. I love old, faded, very worn t-shirts.
36. I’m on the debate team.
37. I ran cross country, and I play volleyball.
38. I love to run, but not competitively. Thus, I will not be running cross country next year.
39. Volleyball is tons o’ fun.
40. I have extreme trouble sleeping.
41. So every night I watch Friends @ 11.
42. That’s usually the only show I watch because I never have any other time to.
43. I can live forever without TV.
44. But probably not more than a week without music. Okay, 5 days…
45. I’ve traveled out of the country a few times. Once to Paris, three times to Mexico.
46. I want to go to Spain. Hopefully I’ll study abroad there.
47. My friend and I have extensive plans to travel the world together, just the two of us.
48. We’re also going to buy an old Volkswagen Westphalia and drive from the tippity top of North America to the bottity bottom of South America.
49. If you were to watch Romeo and Juliet with me, I can recite every line for you.
50. I’ve seen it more than 40 times, easily.
51. But my absolute favorite movie is Fight Club.
52. I hate wet bread.
53. I’m not a big fan of our current president, either.
54. I have a younger sister.
55. My first ever concert was when I was 4.
56. It was Rod Stewart.
57. At the time, I was suffering from a severe case of mono… and fell asleep in my seat.
58. I’ve also seen the Backstreet Boys (?!?!), 311, Tantric, Lit, Adema, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Dave Matthews Band (times 2), Lisa Loeb, and most recently, the Wallflowers.
59. I saw Dave on 12 April 2002, and 23 July 2002.
60. I will be seeing him again on 8 September 2003 and 9 September 2003.
61. I suck at maintaining relationships. I am probably the worst girlfriend ever.
62. I’m way too paranoid/annoying.
63. I’m working on it, though.
64. I have a hard time dealing with change.
65. When I’m into something, I throw myself into it without looking back. This is good and bad. Good because I stay focused, bad because I can’t focus on much else.
66. I love chemistry.
67. I would marry it if I could. I swear, I would.
68. It’s definitely an interest that I consider pursuing in the future.
69. You may say I have low self esteem.
70. My favorite food is marshmallow fluff.
71. Also up there is mustard. And cantaloupe.
72. I don’t like to eat meat. Not yet proclaimed a vegetarian, however.
73. I hate fights. I will do anything to avoid engaging in an argument, even saying I’m wrong, when I know I’m not.
74. I want nothing more than to be successful. (Definition to be determined)
75. In the past 2 years I have changed an unbelievable amount personality wise.
76. I will go out of my way to make your day better because I care about you.
77. I love it when someone surprises you with a hug from behind. That is the best feeling in the world.
78. The first CD I ever bought with my own money was the Beatles White Album, because I got sick of playing my parents old record.
79. I think it would be cool to be a teacher… or an architect… or the recipient of the Nobel Prize in Chemistry…
80. My favorite song ever is Crush by Dave Matthews, followed closely by Jane Says by Jane’s Addiction, then Amphetamine by Everclear.
81. My old definition of success: the ability to go out and buy a pair of Manolo Blahniks without the bat of an eye.
82. My new definition of success: doing something that makes me happy.
83. I love reading The Onion.
84. I believe in soulmates.
85. I have trouble taking criticism well.
86. I have no problem dishing it out, though.
87. I have many faults.
88. It’s not hard to tell when I’m nervous or lying.
89. I bite my nails when stressed (all the time…), a disgusting habit.
90. I keep a journal.
91. I also have a book of quotes that I work on every now and then. It kind of means a lot to me, so I pick and choose what goes in it very carefully.
92. I am an Aries (the ram). We are known to be pushy, stubborn, individuals, leaders, intense, perfectionistic, adventurous, passionate, and energetic. I am all of these things.
93. All the best times are spent on a beach. At night. With a walk. And a sunset. And a picnic. Oh! And a hackey sack!!!!!
94. If we becomes friends, I can seriously promise you I won’t allow myself to ever let you down.
95. I love summer thunderstorms.
96. Monty Python. ‘nuff said.
97. Strawberry is my favorite kind of ice cream, unless we’re at Ben and Jerry’s, in which case it is Phish food.
98. I wear contacts.
99. I boycott Gap.
100. “Celebrate we will, for life is short but sweet for certain.” –David J. Matthews

listening to: what else but Breach by Jakob Dylan and the Wallflowers?

yes, well, the week is over!!!! hurrah! 3 days weekend, as well. that means, since alg2 dropped today, no math for 4 days, no history for 4 days, and english short wednesday and drops next friday. how sweet it is.

i should really use this weekend to start studying for exams or something useful. instead i'm not going to. what is happening to me? oh yeah. i've kind of stopped caring, right!

so it's rainy. and it's going to rain tomorrow as well. i usually like rain, but now i can't go to the beach with the illustrious andy tomorrow. so instead we're doing something later tonight to make up for it. i want to just like, go to the beach right now haha! rain what?

so yeah my rocket didn't fly today. ("unlike steve, that's not gunna fly" motta). but none of the double body rockets flew. so it's all good. also, no one has beaten my 248 feet. i think sarah will for the final launch on tuesday though. hmmm... again... i just give up. like i really should care more. i kind of do. but then something overpowers it.

so ask me what i did this afternoon? uhhhh slept. yeah sleep! it felt good. for some reason, even though this week was positively perfect, i still couldnt get more than about 4 hours per night. i plan on doing some catching up in the shut-eye department.

well, i have to go get ready. something i care about haha :)

later, love.

oh well. plans got cancelled.

thats okay, i need the extra beauty sleep

thats how long i slept yesterday

lsitening to: a downloaded dave and santana song that i dont even know the name of. you know you're obsessed when you'll just download anything by dave without even caring what the name of it is. also i've had this song on my computer since last year. i remember downloading it during exam week. let's just call it "unknown 2 live" which is what it's classified as in my media folder.

the day didn't start for me until around 1130-12ish

spent the afternoon cleaning my room. we were having some new furniture delivered. around 4 i went.....

bathing suit shopping.

yes. that awful yearly trip that makes even me- fun-in-the-sun-loving-jess- wish i lived in an igloo.

2 hours and 83912461346773 bad bathing suits later, we purchased the least of the 83912461346773 bathing suit evils.

i got some graduation gifts for some of my wonderful graduating friends. (hahaha not including the big you know what!!!! )

came home. oh! i watched surf girls on mtv! how long has that show been on, and why didnt anyone tell me about it? it made me long for california even more. and also i think i may be addicted to that show now. i wish i was a good surfer.

i hate the weather we're having, it's positively awful. because of it, my beach plans for today were ruined. similar to the plans for kieran's shindig hahaha so instead i went with matt mc to see bruce almighty. also in attendence were kev and his gf, kayleigh (definitely spelled that wrong) along with andy g. and some other completely random people that i've never met before... the movie was okay. i was happy i was with matt. we made fun of every movie in the previews. he gets his license this week. we already decided to skip school a few times to just waste time and watch movies together. andy (g.) is coming along as well. these movies include: one about pirates, another about the rugrats, and of course 2 fast 2 furious. it was freakish because when the one for legally blonde 2 came on, mat said that same thing (well, a different way of saying it, but meaning the same thing) to me as i did to rye last week: who paid enough money for the first one that they had to make another one?!

good times, good times.

also today, started to prepare typed notes for exams. but only chemistry :)

awww man this time last week i was hanging out with my hendi friends after the dance. i love *you* allllllllllllllllll

hmmm so not much has been happening. truthfully i cant even remember what i did yesterday.... sunday? hmmm no church, my parents decided to let me sleep- how kind. it's kind of freaking me out how i can't really think right now. oh! my mom and shelby went to see a movie and then my mom's friend's house. so it was just mi padre y yo. my mom called around 5 to say that we were on our own for dinner. now don't get me wrong here. it's not as if my dad and i cannot forage on our own and are totally dependent on my mom for all sources of nourishment. but our refigerator was bare. there was nothing in our house except some mustard, hummus, and one tortilla. (i had finished the fluff in the afternoon...) and so, instead of making one-half a tortilla with mustard and hummus for each of us, we dined out. my dad was like hey where do you want to go? and i was like subway's good, seeing as how thats our usual sustenance when my mom is out of town (for work) for a week or two each month. he's like nah, let's hit up Pakarang, this fabulous restaurant "downcity" specializing in thai cuisine. i discovered it 2 years ago after my trip to san francisco where i fell in love with all things thai (and indian!) and needed to share this wonderful discovery with the fam. after some very yummy pad thai noodles, we hit up thayer street for a bit, then returned to the homefront. all in all, it was an enjoyable evening with padre. unfortunately, do to conflicting schedules, the only times i really get to fill him in on my life (and vice versa) are on our 5- minutemorning rides to the bus stop.

in other news, this weather is driving me slowly insane. i do love the rain, but all i wanted was for it to be nice at least one day of this three day weekend. i'm not really complaining- i was able to get some stuff done, but the tan is completely gone. que triste.

today i slept in until 1130 (i'm really not lazy, i swear. i just got a new extremely comfortable mattress and also, after the last 3 weeks, i really had all this sleep coming to me. it's about time that it's arrived.) then i hit the mall and got someone's birthday presssssssssent :) also bought myself some new summer clothes. afterward we went to visit my great aunt in the nursing home. what a downer... she's almost 90, and up until 3 months ago, was living on her own without any problems. now she can barely lift her head up and weighs about 85 pounds. she can't eat. it's so sad. i promise i wont bare you with any more details though. at least she cheered up a bit while we were all there.

came home, and finally started to work on my religion project (jean vanier and l'arche) i organized all my info into 8 slides, plus title slide and bibliography. that should be enough, i hope. then it took me all of 20 minutes to build my final rocket. guys, i really really hope this one flies. i had to get a different kind of styrofoam and cut it down to the same size as my last one because lthey didn't have any more of the size i had previously been using (due to someone buying them all out... yeah okay, it was me, last week lol) this weekend was rather productive- i typed up 3 chapters of history notes, 3 chapters of chemistry notes, 2 chapters of spanish. but it still feels like i should be doing more...

like maybe my algebra 2 homework thats due tomorrow? hmmm

let me sleep on that one

state champs what
state champs what
(scorps, 30 may 2003)

yeah school! way to be! wide load!

all i can say is that not much happened this week. kind of a bittersweet one, the seenyaz last day was wednesday, went out with will andy john and andy's [big] lil brother mike. i single-handedly messed up the plans for a blue midnight special practice (way to be, me)... but i heard things went well tonight at jamnesty so thats good. i didn't get to go because my we had my aunt's baby shower at my house... lots of people... i was planing on just sitting by myself and eating like the glutton that i am, but then my friend hayley showed up so that was a pleasant surprise!

my rocket flew 515 feet the other day. craziness.

so ben folds is coming to town on 5 july and everyone is going to see him. ill be away. im going to try to see if anyone wants to join me on 24 aug to see him in boston... let me know if you're interested...

i'm so tired. its been a long week. too long. not too good. i didn't like it much. i managed somehow to get my religion done by second period today. yeah, god.

i'm sorry. i'm just not really in the mood to write at all. if i could, i'd go back in time this week and change so many things about it.

but i cant. so instead, im not going to talk about it.

night

((i wish that show was still on tv))

well, things got better last night. a lot better. i just had the weirdest week. super high highs, and super low lows. but you know how that goes. i'm just so incredibly sick of school. it needs to end. the whole year flew by, but these past 2 weeks or so have been inifinitely stretching themselves out to the point where i can't really see the end any more. a mere 5 more days of classes, then 6 exams spread out over 4 days. one monday, two tuesday, two wednesday, one thursday. it's over on the 12th. finally. and then... 2 weeks later, ill be in california. 26 days from today. that's just crazy. i'm so incredibly stoked. i need california and all its positive connotations- sun, heat, beach, sand, water, surfboard, mountains, bikes, long days and late nights, barbeques, fruit trees, sunglasses, smiles.

just general happiness.

i slept wicked late today. woke up, and no one was home. no note or anything. thats okay. i used the quietness to start preparing to study for history. this in itself takes about a week of preparation. i hate that class. yesterday he tried to tell me i got a 75 on a test. i was so pissed. i mean, excuse me, perturbed. then, come to find out that he screwed up and mixed up my grade with someone else's (hint hint: "shut up" girl), and i ended up getting a 37 out of 40, which is a helluva lot better than a fucking 75.

later my family decided to return to me around 4. i needed to get out of the house, go somewhere, do something. my mom was going to gc, so i went too. i know i'm supposed to be saving for the schecter pt custom, but i needed to buy myself a book. i love to read.... is that ok? so i picked up catalyst at hajian's suggestion. it's about a girl who loves chemistry. guess how much i love it already. i've been reading it all afternoon, and it has totally lifted my mood.

i suppose that if i'm going out tonight i should shower though. so maybe ill go do that now.

later fools. te amo.