smileyjess

if only---
maybe if---
hey, well at least they---
damn you, little, because---
why did they---
why didnt they---
how about when---

basically every single conversation i had today started with one of the above introductory phrases (yeah soph honors english!!!)

right now, it's still a sore spot.

we're not going to talk about how much it hurts. we're just not, alright?

i'm not going to talk about how, when boone hit that pitch, a little piece of me died.

i'm not going to talk about how, when boone hit that pitch, i got all choked up.

i'm not going to talk about how, when the game was over, my dad and i just sat in silence for a few minutes.

i'm not going to talk about how, when the game was over, my dad ran his fingers through his hair, turned off the tv, looked at me with the saddest face ever and said "well, there's always next year, kiddo" and then left the room with feet dragging.

i'm not going to talk about how, when the game was over, not even conan could make me laugh.

i'm not going to talk about how, when dean saw boone hit that pitch, he punched a hole in his bedroom wall.

i'm not going to talk about how, when dan was suffering through that 8th inning, he went outside and actually tried to chop down a tree with all his anger.

i'm not going to talk about how andy g 'hates everyone and hopes [he] dies.' (away message)

i'm not going to even think about how dylan is recovering down in DC all by himself.

i'm not going to talk about how si and i couldnt speak and could just hold each others hand for support.

i'm not going to talk about how it will take until spring training for me to get over this.

instead, i choose to talk about how great a season its been, and how proud i am of the boyz. it's been a good one. i'm proud, i'm proud. the postseason has been beyond awesome. they've worked hard. sure, it would have been nice to go to the world series. undoubtedly.

but i guess ill try to focus on the positive... like... how i wont have aneurisms every time they play (cuz... they're not playing any more this season...), and ill get my homework done before 2 in the morning (as a result of staying up to watch a game, and not being able to focus on anything else before a game), an maybe ill know more real current events (instead of information like nomar's batting average or how much manny makes per minute), and perhaps i can think about the upcoming season, instead of focusing on last nights game.

my dad's friend paul said being a red sox fan is like being in purgatory. you just wait and pray.

a lot.

as for the world series, i dont think i am going to watch any of it. not just because of... ((shudder)) them but also because i dont like the marlins. damn franchised team thats a mere 8 years old with a world series title already under their belt.

ok i'm done. no more. because see the way im looking at it, last nights game was like getting a cut. you can see it, and acknowledge it, but it doesn't quite hurt. by talking about it today, though, it's just like picking at it. and watching it bleed.