take me and break me and make me strong like you
when it's over, there are still questions. questions that will not be answered, questions that will not even be asked. answers that would rather go unsaid, unheard. there is also the wondering. and the "what if"'s.
it's like this every time. loser, winner, doesn't matter.
should i, shouldn't i?
all i know is next time it will be different. next time i will not give up so easily. next time i'll be better prepared, i won't quit when it gets too serious, i won't nag when the paranoia sets in, i won't expect too much if you don't. i'll ride the waves, go with the flow. i won't try too hard. i'll be realistic. i'll be what you want me to be, what you need me to be. i'll trust you; you trust me. i won't hold you down. please just hold me. i don't want all the same likes or dislikes; disagree with me. pick me up when i fall, and ill roll you over when you're passed out. tell me what's on your mind. help me to admit when i'm wrong. help me to see the bright side. help me let go. help me. remind me that as long as i've got you, i'm not alone or lost. i promise to give you backrubs, and we can talk about random shit. make me feel alive. don't let me disappear into the shadows. don't try to prove yourself to me. show me how you take chances; teach me to take risks. let me be the one you need. smile. i love it when you smile.
promise to not let me quit. remind me i can't quit.
i know what i want, but i don't want it right now. because i don't want to fuck it up, as i have the tendency to do quite often. i'm still working on a lot of things about myself. next time (whenever that is; i'm not in any hurry) i know i'll get it right. the odds are in my favor. they've got to be.
&eventually, we'll get it right.