patty said i should put this up here. and because i seem to be lacking anything else worthy of typing, here it is.
and, yes, i really am handing this in to R. tomorrow.
Jess
Christian Service Period E
Journal #1
I hate, loathe, abhor, positively detest missing school. Often I will attend even when struck with the most debilitating of viruses or bacterial infections. There have been numerous occasions when my mother has requested that I stay home and focus on regaining my health (read: sleep), only to watch me slowly haul myself out of bed, drag a brush through my hair, refuse to even entertain the idea of eating, and slightly slump out the front door, shoulders hunched under the weight of my time-tested, heavy-duty, L.L. Bean backpack. Yes- I am that student- the one whose biggest fear of Christian Service is the missed class time. It won’t be easy to keep up with missing three hours per week of a course load too heavily laden with AP’s in addition to an assortment of extracurriculars that I already cannot handle less than two weeks into the academic year. I’ve thought about trying to switch out- wait until next semester, maybe… after I have completed the grueling college applications process… but it’s too late now; I’m just going to have to suck it up and lend a hand to some sixth graders struggling with math.
Don’t get me wrong- it’s not that I’m a coldhearted bitch; I like to think of myself more as a manic, grade conscious student who has already completed a good number of volunteer hours. I’m just a little afraid that my grades will drop because I’ll be missing 10% of my schoolwork, and that statistic daunts me. I can’t fall behind because then it’s just that much harder to cross the finish line that I’ve been working towards for the past three years.
But you probably don’t want a paper from an obsessive-compulsive scholar whose college apps, if truth be told, could use a few more community service hours. And if those hours are to be added, what better way to than by helping to tutor sixth graders? It was my first choice, so I shouldn’t complain. (I love kids- I want to be a pediatrician with a minor in human development ages 0-10.) My expectations in performing my Christian Service are, admittedly, a little high. If I have to sacrifice this much class time, I have to make it worth it. I desperately want to have a lasting impression on the kids- I want to make them not only learn math, but learn to love it. Too bad loving math is impossible when you’re eleven or twelve. I think I’m most afraid that I won’t make even the slightest difference for these students, and that it will all just be a waste of time- not only mine, but also that of the student(s) and/or teacher.