sometimes i want to throw all my inhibitions to the wind and play with his hair. and then i remember that i did do this, all too recently. and now i blame the wind for stealing them from my tightly-closed fist.
despite the advice of my very concerned mother, i ended up going into school today. my eyes hurt so bad because i slept with my contacts in last night. because i was up late trying to write my second college essay. and then i couldnt go to sleep. so i got the bright idea to pop in fight club. promptly fell asleep on the couch right after the best scene ("i want you to hit me as hard as you can.")
i was yelled at- yelled at- by my christian service moderator because i didn't go today because i came in late. yelled at. i can't remember the last time i heard that kind of tone from anyone. i was also threatened. threatened. i can remember the last time i was threatened and that time is NEVER.
my guidance counselor guided me today. he said to take tomorrow out of school. so i plan on allowing myself to be guided. i'm going to sleep until 1:15pm. i will then proceed to blindly fumble around my room until i locate my glasses (something tells me my eyes are kind of fucked up for a few days...) grab a teaspoonful or six of marshmallow fluff, hop in the car, and meet ryan in the hendi parking lot by 1:27.
nah, i probably wont be able to sleep that late. (but i'm def going to hendi) also going to hit up j. crew. (hooray for fall sales on cashmere.) then i'm going to see if my hairdresser can fit me in because i am so fucking sick and tired of my disgusting hair. it looks terrible. my split ends have split ends. i also just need a new appearance altogether if anyone knows where i can schedule an appointment for that i'd really appreciate it.
dear inhibitions you suck sincerely jess