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you can hide beside me

i hate how i havent talked to you talked to you in over 2 years now. how i found all our old emails still in my 'stuff to save' folder and spent the better portion of two hours rereading them, then filing them in the delete bin because theyre mostly just continuations of inane conversations that i so highly hold in regard already that i dont need to save them anymore. they're permanently saved. i hate how i ruined it because i cared too much for you, i'm sorry, i thought i knew you better than you know yourself, which, of course, is not possible. if i could go back i wouldnt be as overbearing. i hate that i dont have anything to say to you anymore, how my eyes automatically revert to the floor in your presence. how im embarassed in front of you, can't let you see me. how i know i can write this here and not have to worry about you reading it because you dont read this. how i still worry about you, though. how i wish i was her. how i hate that this wont go away like you have.


there are many things that i would like to say to you but i dont know how

Comments (3)

robby:

dont worry be happy :-p

fly on the wall:

relax skippy everything works out in the end, but remeber sometimes you have to take things into your own hands, so just pick up your head and say, howdy

???:

I wish you'd write a longing-to-change-the-past entry about ME... or whatever you'd classify that as.

Sorry for intruding, continue with life as usual... now.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on September 20, 2004 8:14 PM.

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