wisdom teeth extraction doesnotequal fun
first, they strap you into a chair with a seatbelt like contraption. then, they take your blood pressure (something i've never enjoyed because they always comment on how relatively high mine is despite only being 17). the cuff tightens around your arm like a serpent around its victim as your ankles are bound to the chair so that "you don't move in your sleep." metal monitors are placed around your wrists to make sure you still have a pulse, and finally your head is tilted back so that you cant watch (but you can feel - boy can you feel! -) a needle being jabbed ino the crook of your elbow and allaround you are 4 (5?) faces lulling you to sleep with questions like "so, what do you want to major in?" you respond "prhhhhhmddddd ahhhnnnnkk." and then, delicious sleep.
all said and done, a full 36 hours later, it really wasn't so bad. i mean, heck, i could have been in period d calc with the test that (i heard) raped everyone. i could have been in period f physics with crazy K and her stupid labs. i could have been in period g spanish where, lately, i feel like i'm floating, floating, floating high above the rest of the class, looking at the rest of them - those who understand what the fuck is going on - with admirable eyes as i allow myself to transcend time, space, and energy and miracuously fall asleep with my eyes open.
i woke up around 430 yesterday, positively starving, but stuck with the soup and smoothie diet. it's all good. then it was back to sleep from 5 to7ish, when my dad brought me home a white chocolate raspberry soy latte. mmmmmm! later on rye came over with a bunch of movies and we settled in for a night of ed norton (a yale alum, i might add....) what a guy - he also came armed with popcorn, however, i ended up just making that for him to eat as i sniffed the buttery goodness from a distance and instead tackled another bowl of lemon zest sorbet.
this medication is really kind of taking a toll on me, though. i feel fine, i look okay (no swelling or anything), but i'm just exhausted. i think it's because i'm supposed to take it on a full stomach, but i seriously have like:: negative appetitte. i went to work this morning, then came home and worked on my brown app, then went to the library to do a physics lab, then came home and slept for a few hours... now i'm up, i'm not hungry at all, and it's time for another vic. i dont know, i think i'm just all sorts of listless...
so far, only one friend of mine has been accepted to her early action school (but it's not even her first choice.) with all the news i'm hearing from friends and friends of friends... i dont know... i'm just getting very downhearted about the whole college thing again. people that have all the prerequisites and credentials fortheir choice colleges aren't getting in early. the anticipation is waning, and now its just being replaced by full blown anxiety.
maybe the anxiousness is what's really wearing me down.
what i want to do tonight: go to blake's party (but i'm not supposed to drink or drive with this stuff in my system)
what i should do tonight: work on the 4 brown essays
what i will do tonight: watch family guy and fall asleep on the couch, home alone, once again.
this is the longest december everrrrrrrrrrrr
long december by counting crows
A long december and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can’t remember the last thing that you said as you were leavin’
Now the days go by so fast
And it’s one more day up in the canyons
And it’s one more night in hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven...i wish you would
The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it’s all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl
And it’s one more day up in the canyons
And it’s one more night in hollywood
If you think you might come to california...i think you should
Drove up to hillside manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her
And it’s been a long december and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can’t remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass
And it’s one more day up in the canyon
And it’s one more night in hollywood
It’s been so long since I’ve seen the ocean...i guess I should