smileyjess

a recent open letter from madeleine to the world:

"Dear world,

I am very very sick and miserable. Also, I am really pissed off at you because I can never do anything right and someone's always unhappy with me for some reason or another. Like, what the fuck? What am I supposed to do? Umm go kill yourself.

With loathing,
Madeleine"

Dearest, darling Madeleine,
Forgive me! It is not my intention to make you very very sick and miserable (rather, that was reserved for Jon - that boy needs to work on his karma, however his senior pictures did come out fabulous and without any airbrushing whatsoever!). Please refrain from aforementioned pissed off ness because you ALWAYS do EVERYTHING right because you are SIMPLY PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. And those people who are always unhappy with you for some reason or another? Crazies. When I turn into fire and brimstone, you have my utmost assurance that they will be the first to go.

I recommend a plentiful dose of benadryl, a day off from school, some everclear (the band or the alcohol - your choice), and some ass - I mean - Adam.

Sincerest apologies,
The World

p.s. - This is what the alphabet would look like if the letters Q and R were to be eliminated
p.p.s. - Look on the bright side - at least your car's not totaled. And you don't, in theory, owe your parent's a good $20k and whatever the hell Jess's insurance premium is about to go up. Plus you've got that monogonamousousa relationship thing going strong. ((cough steady stream of ass cough)) ((sneeze that buys you beer)) It'll all be okay.