so i suppose i'll try my best to recapitulate the whirlwind of the last few days.
1. tulane
all i have to say is i am so happy to have such an incredible safety school. since being accepted into their School of Public Health and Tropical Medicine (comprised of less than 1400 undergraduates) i've thumbed through the beautiful mailings theyve sent me and i've saved for the past two years. (um, i'll be completely honest and flat out tell you -- and ryan will attest to this -- that the only reason i applied there was their awesome color scheme. like, i wish i was joking, but i'm not. "Ways Not to Choose a College" by me.) it really is a beautifully enchanting campus in the heart of n'oleans. and heck, i hate the south, but maybe it wouldn't be that bad if they offer me a decent chunk of change...
2. i am missing so many people right now. i can't even keep track. i want to be with them all, and i want them all to be with me right here, right now. i want warm smiles and "shhh, it's okay"'s and pats on the back and cups of steaming tea and soft light in the dining room and laughs and tinkling glasses with toasts for better tomorrows and new beginnings. i want to say goodbye one last time to everyone i've ever lost. i want to make sure they know i love them. i want to stop having my eyes water so much. i want to stop thinking. i want to remember that it's better this way, but it's so hard and i'm so terribly selfish.
3. i want more words. now, damn it.
4. i had the honor of taking madeleine home this afternoon, post failing all of my acadec tests (dear god, the 14 hour acadec competition culminating a supposed year of study is in 1 month..... so screwed..... ). whilst passing cows and christmas tree farms on the way to coventry, i was able to receive a lot of answers from her regarding a few questions i've been harboring about younger siblings. she's so awesome, and i'm so lucky to know her. also, we reminisced about our carousing a month ago....
5. dave matthews = god. i haven't listened to him in well over 4 months. i'm so ashamed to admit it, but i've just been so caught up in my perpetual brand new obsession, then franz ferdinand, then old school everclear (to whom i will always devote half of my self), then brand new a few more weeks, and howie day as of late. but today i put in live from luther college disc 1 as i was casually half reading a book (good in bed, chicklit at its best!!!) and by track two (#41) i was in a complete state of tranquility. granted it lasted all of 5 minutes and 38 seconds, but you take what you can get.
6 through about 1006. too much other stuff but i dont feel like typing.
#41 (for probably the millionth time i've posted it.)
Come and see
I swear by now I知 playing time
I against my troubles
I知 coming slow but speeding
Do you wish a dance and while i知
In the front
The play on time is won
But the difficulty is coming here
I will go in this way
And find my own way out
I wont tell you to stay
But I知 coming to much more
Me
All at once the ghosts come back
Reeling in you now
What if they came down crushing
Remember when I used to play for
All of the loneliness that nobody
Notice now
I知 begging slow I知 coming here
Only waiting I wanted to stay
I wanted to play
I wanted to love you
I知 only this far
And only tomorrow leads my way
I知 coming waltzing back and moving into your head
Please, I wouldnt pass this by
I would take any more than
What sort of man goes by
I will bring water
Why wont you ever be glad
It melts into wonder
I came in praying for you
Why wont you run
In the rain and play
Let the tears splash all over you