you know that saying...
if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all?
i think that's why i've been kind of quiet. i don't have anything nice to say. i've got a bunch of complaints, per usual, but i don't want to use this to voice them anymore than i already do.
i've had a tumultuous weekend, during which i failed to open my backpack, but also failed to care.
it's the fourth quarter of my senior year. when did that suddenly happen?
tomorrow is my 18th birthday. i'm going to celebrate by getting my license renewed and buying a lottery ticket with the hopes that it will pay for my college education.
this morning i wasn't feeling too well, just mentally exhausted, my mind in a twist, numbers with too many zeros at the end floating in front of me, words i can't take back that echo neverendingly. walking in, will shouted to me from the third floor of the science center, causing me to smile from ear to ear.
when i told mr. mac i didnt do my calc homework because crunching tuition numbers was more math than i could handle on sunday, he laughed and told me not to worry. about anything.
worrying is my job.
i tried leaving this whole thing into the hands of Fate, but she's being a bitch and not helping any. i look for signs, but they seem pretty equal.
my mom is going away this week. which means she wont be around for my birthday. feeling all sorts of guilty, we went out tonight. she told me to forget about the numbers for a minute and just choose. right then and there.
i couldn't. i can't.
this was supposed to not be complain-y. damn it. i'm sorry.
on the bright side ( literally! ) it was sunny until 730p tonight. maybe it's a sign.