so, wow. guess what i just did. if you said my last piece of high school homework, you are absolutely correct.
i repeat: wow.
ap calc was last period today. it was so weird to not have to take notes, to not have to even open my notebook, to not have to worry about my final, to not care if i understood three dimensional x,y,z tangential differentiable planes. to joke about "ap" meaning "a party." ("calculus party is redundant!" mike macnamara, 2005.) to listen to mr mac talk about "making college count." college. im anxious to get there, but suddenly it doesn't seem so hugely intensely ginormously important. like, oh, i wouldn't even mind going into 205 again tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.
mrs mac was in today. she sat in her usual seat, three rows behind me. on the way out, everyone gave their thanks and received their goodlucks in return. i thought about the day lauren and i went to the als walk and were welcomed into their home like family, big hugs and smiles and cake! we broke cake with the macs! i thought about the first day of class, when mr mac brought nearly everyone to tears explaining mrs. mac's health. i thought about my severe struggles with math and understandable fear of ap calculus.
i hugged mrs mac and she started to cry. i thought i broke her or something; she's so fragile and tiny, barely speaks, a mind tortured by the slow deterioration of the frail shell of a body. it just breaks my heart to see anyone cry, much more so when said person is physically unable to wipe away her tears.
i don't mean to sound so cheesy and sentimental on you all of a sudden, it's just i hate it when i take people for granted. especially two absolutely amazing teachers.
suddenly i'm not so much in a hurry to leave but i'm done at 1245 tomorrow.
it's still surreal.