bay queen was lovely. i have to admit, i was not feeling well at first. no, i was not seasick, i was just... i don't know. uneasy. i've never been good at saying goodbyes, and i know last night marked the beginning of several goodbyes.
it wasn't even so much i was sad about saying goodbye. there are too many people i've failed to say hello to.
so it goes, i guess. yesterday patty and i drove together to pick up our yearbooks. i turned the glossy pages, light reflecting off pretty people with white teeth and smiles, just positively loving the cute baby pictures that everyone's parents tossed in. moments caught on these simple pages that truly are unforgettable: jon and i at homecoming, winter ball, junior prom, the most likely to succeed snapshot, and class insiders such as the wildfire-like spread of the spoon game and of course the definition of an optimist ("isn't that, like, someone who can predict the future??????")
it's ending, bit by bit. i'm definitely ready for the Next Thing, whatever it may be, but more and more i am finding myself uncharacteristically clingy. oh, nostalgia, i'm only 18!
in other news, prom is tomorrow night. i find it amusing that i fail to have a bag and jewelry. for some reason, since i bought my dress 3 months ago, i seem to have mistakenly just thought i was done. mmm wrong. it's amusing because you would think that i would have learnt my lesson from last year, when i was frantically running around nordstrom the day of junior prom and ended up forking over $20 for a ribbon necklace. as in, a single strand of ribbon with a fancy knot. yeah. what can i say! it was the exact shade of hot pink i needed! desperate times call for desperate measures!
i treated myself this week because i worked a ton last week. i bought myself a real copy of houses of the holy (led zep) as well as the new one by the wallflowers, rebel sweetheart.
i spent a large majority of this week lounging on my deck, basking in the glorious rays of a sun that had gone into hiding for, oh, just the past three weeks or so. while i was busy being uber lazy, i worked a bit more towards my personal goal of 30 books this summer. i read kite runner in less than 20 hours (it was just that amazing) and wrapped up girl with the pearl earring just this afternoon after graduation practice (the most boring 2 hours of my entire life on this planet). the very attractive intellectual guy i have previously mentioned who works at borders suggested seeing the film. rarely do i enjoy movies that are 'based on' books, but he attested that it is worth my while. shown a few years back at the cannes film festival, so i'll let you know how it goes.
i'll leave you with one of the best songs ever. makes me want to melt, cry,, disappear. drift away. far, far away. where the only thing i have to do each day is nap in the sun, occasionally read a book, and sip slightly chilled, never watered down diet coke.
Why by Annie Lennox
How many times do I have to try to tell you
That I'm sorry for the things I've done
But when I start to try to tell you
That's when you have to tell me
Hey, this kind of trouble's only just begun
I tell myself too many times
Why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut
That's why it hurts so bad to hear the words
That keep on falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Tell me...
Why
Why
I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you're thinking
And I've heard it said too many times
That you'd be better off
Besides...
Why can't you see this boat is sinking
Let's go down to the water's edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid