smileyjess

i'm not entirely sure when it first started, but i am physically unable to make eye contact. real, true, pure, soul-searching eye contact. i can stare down rambling speakers, peer over the half moon lenses of my rimless glasses when you and i are nose to nose, dry out my contacts when we're aimlessly wandering about in a directionless, yet most enjoyable conversation.

but face to face, no holds barred, end-all, be-all connection? uh-uh. my jaw clenches, i absentmindedly pick at my already nervously bitten cuticles, lower my chin and feign interest at a perfectly-popped collar or interestingly-shaped freckle.

don't take it personally. a promise is a promise. but something churns in the back of preferably forgotten memories that my eyes hint at all too much. verbalizing them is one thing, but actually permitting entrance is another. i'm afraid that once the bond is formed between our pupils, an unlimited vip pass is issued and i'm completely at your mercy. do with me as you will. wrack my mind in its entirety.

there's nothing that isn't already known, but the depth is something to be ashamed of. it's better this way, hang out nonchalantly by the railing in the shallow end. i've never been one for recklessly diving into the deeper part. adapt to the water's temperature. playfully splash. practice swimming. slowly make your way over.

it's better like this, trust me. when you just jump in - nary a care in the world - you become vulnerable. what if it's a poor leap from the board? what if the water stings your skin upon contact? did you even really check the temp?? you come up suddenly, ungracefully, sputtering and spewing, chlorine in your eyes, reddening the veins, clogging your sinuses. disoriented, you look around for something or someone recognizable. your legs kick seemingly helplessly as you make you way back to the ladder. it takes forever.

no, this water runs too deeply. take caution, don't run around its perimeter.

i can only look at your eyes when they are so close they appear almost out of focus, out of touch, blurry. i do not purposely dodge your gaze, i want to lock in on your look. but something inside won't let me, no matter how hard i try. let me adapt. we can coax it into the deep end, eventually, i hope.

things that make you go "huh?":
The ego is constantly in search of being a boss - whatsoever the cost, at any cost. You are losing your whole opportunity of life just to fulfill a shadowy, non-substantial notion - the notion of ego: "I am somebody." Nobody is nobody. We are all one; we are not separate.
Osho

things that make a little bit of drool build up in the corners of your open-hanging jaw:
j. crew's new fall collection (hello! i dont know about you, almighty sir crew, but it's still august here in lil' rhody. no worries, i know i still need more cashmere.....)

things that make me want to cry because i dont have any:
tickets to the sold out coldplay show at the tweeter center this saturday. if you've got a spare, we need to talk. now.

Madeleine, I miss you! Come home!

Mad’s life, in t shirt format. Yeah, we didn’t get it either.

Ain’t she perdy?

Jon is pretty, too. Just not here. I bet I know who he was talking to (“being pissed at”) while Jessica snapped this photo!!!

Nick! Why are your eyes so beautiful? Why are you so charming? Gorgeous pose, way to work the camera. (He always feels more comfortable with the SG in front of him anyways…)

Mad + Jon = bliss

Jon + Mad + Jessica = … kinky? Considering he’s gay and they’re sisters….

Rye and I. A dorm-worthy photo, if I do say so myself!

Rye, in D. Lux’s swimming trunks, making himself at home.

<3 so much love <3 it’s like new year’s all over, minus the drunk part.

i feel: worthless. worth. less. worthless than who? worthless than what is more appropriate. she does not exist, is not tangible, does not take up space, is not composed of the fve basic elemental compounds, is not a person. Is a figment. Constantly transfiguring and transforming, it is beyond impossible to attempt to ever be of the same "worth" as she.

i feel: insignificant. obviously i can never measure up to these imaginary expectations - those of my own or (on a much lesser level) those of anyone i know (come to think of it - or those of anyone i don't and won't know). i feel as though all of the stage lights are directed elsewhere during my soliloquy. the audience becomes restless, shifts in their seats, sneaks serruptitious glances at their watches in hidden spare moments. my eyes plead, "this is not my fault," but the mea culpa falls on deaf ears. forget loss of electricity, forget set crew asleep at the helm, forget that anyone can make a mistake. at this point, my voice cannot be heard anyway. i much prefer to sprint back to the familiar safety that lies beyond the thin crack of light under the heavy velvet curtain. my lines do not matter. i feel: small. my disappearance would hardly go noticed. the role is not a crucial one but rather was added simply to stall for time while the stars switched costumes backstage.

i feel: bewildered, frightened, disoriented. i wear the alarmed expression of a female fawn caught in the headlights of a four wheel drive, five ton, all terrain, living-room-on-wheels sport utility vehicle. my freezing body wanting nothing but to turn around and retrace those steps across the unforgiving pavement. desiring to learn from those small mistakes. i thrive on the regret left in the aftermath. i want the chance to make the right decision next time. i want a next time. frozen in the split second moment, though, i am scared because i know that this is the first and last and only time. and it could have been prevented if i had looked both ways.

i feel: unalive.

i want to live in one of these!!!

dear makers of the 'shuffle songs' function on my glorious ipod,

you rock my socks like whoa, quite literally. thank you kindly for getting me through a nine hour day in a dusty, file-crowded cubicle with only black pens (i much prefer blue ink) and one 0.5 liter bottle of diet coke. anyone that can do that deserves my soul.

sincerely,
jess

please see enclosed: my soul

how is it already 8 august? can someone please explain this to me? i honestly thought today was the 4th. i was all prepared to write an entry about how 31 days from now i will move into pc. but, no! it's a mere 27.

insanity...

so i received my roommate information, and she seems pretty chill. i'm a little nervous about it, truth be told. i've had my own room for 18 years, save for a few short months when my parents tried to make shelby and i share (yeah, that didn't last long!!) i like to think i'm a very easy person to get along with, but i know this is oftentimes not the case. i'm a stressed out, high strung, perfectionistic bio major with 16 credits. man, i feel bad for olivia already...

no, okay, seriously (in case she, like... reads this... ever!) i vow to not be a princess, not be a pain in her ass, not be a demanding control freak. hopefully my insomnia wont freak her out; if it does i'll just move along to the 24 hour study lounge, i guess.

i'm so relieved i didn't get a triple or a quad. what if they had ganged up on me!?!? i don't stand a chance, i've lost any arm muscle i might have ever gained from playing three years of volleyball!

i think it's going to be okay, though. really. i changed so much during the summer between middle school and high school, and i can totally sense that same sort of transition taking place this summer. i'm forcing myself to take a good look at my flaws and work to fix them. i'm realizing what is important to me. i'm hoping that come september, i'll have worked out the finer aspects of my emotionally unbalanced state of mind regarding the whole jess- is- going- to- pc- and- not- really- liking- it thing. you know. taking it one day at a time. (my dad bought me new friars sweatpants and another sweatshirt in an attempt to cheer me up about my bad decision.)

college is my chance to start over, completely anew. totally a 'clean slate' (ohhh brother ralph!), if you will. i've been waiting for this.

i'm going to stop being so negative, i'm far too much of a 'glass is half empty' person.

basically i'm going to try to be more positive. and optimistic. and easy going. happy go lucky. etc, etc.

essentially, all of the things i like to pretend i am....

[edit: deleted as promised]

we're just sitting there in this very crowded restaurant on a thursday night, forks and very sharp knives clanging against plates and platters, waiters rushing by are not much more than blurs, we're sittin' easy and sippin' on diet cokes and water. i believe i was staring at the lines in the wood as she reminded me of how 'lucky' i am.

i know i am lucky.

(but it wasn't just luck, you know... it was a lot of sleepless nights and caffeine headaches and anxiety and depreciating self-loathing and shit that no one really wants to hear about anyway so i never bother to defend myself.)

anyone could have what i have for the next four years. it's just the fact that i was willing to put in the time, effort, dedication, commitment and similar ilk. i was willing to forego more than a few parties, i was willing to sacrifice personal health, i was willing to will myself awake at 430 in the morning to finish up that calc homework/ chem lab/ history paper.

don't call it luck. because it's not. this didn't just fall into my lap.

you want to talk about luck? you're lucky you have the opportunity to go somewhere you actually want to.

that's luck.

watch me.

and somehow all i can muster is yet another i'm sorry.

what i really meant to say
is that i'm sorry for the way i am

"Hi. My name is Jess and I am a shopaholic."
"Hiiiiiiiii, Jesssssssss."

when you are not feeling well, what do you do? maybe you take a tylenol, a nap, or a mental health day off from school. me? i shop. rarely do i really let go and indulge in any and everything i want. the daughter of an accountant, i have been raised to be a tightwad. frugal. in lay man's terms, outright cheap.

i saved all last year for my trip to europe last month, and somehow i still managed to not spend a good $400.

my goal this week for myself was to spend that. now that is a goal i can very easily accomplish. especially when i think of pc and how everyone is so preppy and un-hippie like. apparently my flowy skirts, tie dye sheets, and jeans from savers aren't welcome.

case in point: at my orientation, those super-perky way-too-shameless orientation leaders held skits. all of the bio majors were sitting on the floor in their uber-trendy orientation outfits (admittedly, i wore a lacoste polo. but only after consulting jon first!) (and, yes, i said we were sitting on the floor. i haven't sat on the floor during an assembly since i was in the eighth grade) and i spotted a girl wearing jeans and a knee length skirt - *gasp* at the same time. obviously, she didn't fit in, but in my mind i thought that maybe i would have a friend here after all - do you think she'd want to room with me? maybe her parents made her go here, too....

well, as it turned out, the skit was about stereotypes and the girl i had glimpsed was the butt end of several hippie slurs and rude whispers.

the scene keeps playing over in my head, except i'm her.

determined not to let this happen to me, i set out for wrentham on thursday with one of my two fashion gurus: lauren. this chica knows her stuff and i consult her all the time. an absolute doll, she is always there for me (fashion and otherwise!) and was eager to take me under her wing as we hit the outlets. and boy, they did not know what hit them!

not one, but two ralph lauren sweaters (what if i had bought the crew neck, but everyone else owned the v-neck!?!? what then???!!!). also, a lovely white bathroom with the cute little blue polo label on the left. while browsing ralph's sale rack,i discovered a delicious deal on long-sleeved tissue tshirts, so of course i had to get one of those, too!

at chico's, i bought a laguna belt. in one purchase, i doubled my belt collection.

at gap, a pretty-in-pink long sleeved shirt

at coach, i found the laptop bag of my dreams (it's not on coach.com because it's last year's model, but it looks kind of like this except with a zipper...) and subsequently was roped into buying a leathercare moisturizer product. it was here that my debit card reached it's daily limit.

content, we headed home.

at this point, my goal for the week had been met and surpassed. but, no, that was not enough for me. you all know i'm quite the over achiever....

so last night sir jon wall and i attacked the providence place and thayer street. this time jon was the one maxing out his card. i merely browsed whilst he bedecked himself in gorgeous sweaters with crests, emo-esque polos, at guess, j.crew, and urban outfitters. we had a spare moment for me to pick up an angora sweater at banana republic. once on thayer, we paid a visit to berks, where jon bought his much coveted lacoste shoes and i indulged in a pair of hot pink and very much on sale $13 yellow box beaded slip ons. exhausted and starving, we not only rushed to the candy shop (*must be sung in 50 cent voice) before it closed (i bought peach rings, jon bought a lollipop with a dead scorpion inside) but also hit up johnny rockets where i devoured an entire plate of pickles and drank diet coke until i thought my bladder would explode.

it was delightful to catch up with jonnie-boy and lament the loss of our heroine madeleine (she's STILL in california!!!!!), who, it should be noted, is launching her goddesslike body from an airplane this very day.

so, in all, for those of you who skipped all that and jumped to the end, the moral of the story is: in order to feel good about yourself, spend every paycheck you received all summer on clothes. splurge. go absolutely nuts. pretend you're on sex and the city. indulge in your inner label whore (you know you have one, too.)

i promise you - you'll look good for the entire first week of college. (maybe even the first 8 days!!!)

with summer slowly drawing to a close, and school creeping up in 18 days (*gasp of surprise*), i havent been spending much time in front of my computer. sincerest apologies.

this is my last week of work, and i hope to cram in 35 hours (we'll see how that goes, though, maybe 30 is good enough...). this means that - after i receive this week's paycheck next friday - i will be completely, utterly, and totally without any source of income save for christmas and my birthday. so if we have plans any time after this week, let's do something free, mmmkay?

so let's see... ah, yes... friday night was spent in the glorious company of sir jon wall and saturday my mom and i bargain hunted (our way of bonding, i guess) for dorm room stuff. such immense success! homegoods, linens 'n things, target, and pier one. (restoration hardware and pottery barn didn't quite have what i was looking for as far as dorm room furniture goes!!) i was exhausted by the end of the day. and i still need to hit bed, bath, and beyond! sunday was gloomy and i hibernated. i crawled out of my bed around 2 and finally had the energy to open my bedroom door around 330. i watched requiem and read. all day.

yesterday i put in 8.5 hours at met, then hopped on over to my eye doctor for the fifth time since i've been home from spain. ridiculous. first i needed to go for my regular checkup, then i had a bacterial infection, then a viral, then i needed to pick up my glasses, today i had to get fitted for contacts, and in two more weeks i go back to make sure these contacts are the brand that i want to order.

last night jeremy and i had a sumptuous dinner at cassarino's on federal hill, followed by dessert at caffe dolce vita. the entire evening was lovely. we ambled aimlessly down the cobblestone sidewalks of the trendy 'hill' until it grew rather chilly.

-tangent - why was it 64 degrees last night? um, hello, it's august. it's supposed to be hot all the freakin' time.

tonight jon and i are seducing hanging out with madeleine. oh, the chaos that is sure to ensue. watch out, garden city. you've been warned.

today marks the day that i finally - yes, finally! - got rid of that god awful j.lo ringtone of mine (i'm willing to bet that patty just rolled her eyes and pumped her fist in the air and said "yes!!") i replaced it with green eyes by - who else - coldplay.

i think i like it so much because i like to pretend chris martin is singing it to meeeeeee

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I come here to talk
I hope you understand

That green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you
And how could, anybody, deny you

I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, now I’ve met you
And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

Green eyes

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know

That green eyes, you’re the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind

Cause I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter, since I met you
Honey you should know, that I could never go on without you

Green eyes
Green eyes

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand

seriously, nothing like hitting a man when he's down.

jude has a small package.

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons ev'rywhere
I’ve looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on ev’ryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s cloud illusions I recall
I really don’t know clouds at all

Moons and junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev’ry fairy tale comes real
I’ve looked at love that way

But now it’s just another show
You leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know
Don’t give yourself away

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say I love you right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I’ve looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed
Well something’s lost, but something’s gained
In living ev’ry day

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

i wish there was an explanation behind this.
but there just isn't.

with members of the crew departing for the commencement of their collegiate experiences as early as tomorrow, it was decided that an [almost] end of summer gathering - though unwanted - was in order. and so were sent the invitations to The Last Supper.

held at chateau kowal, the class of ohhh five's best w[h]ined and dined on classy hor douevres and an elegant five course meal. entertainment included making fun of sarah mclachlan and various antics performed by tj due to his strong need to always be the center of attention.

the night ended late as we eventually migrated outside for some football in dress shoes and pressed shirts (liz and rye!) the rest of us opted for congregating and taking odd shots, many of which are not even appropriate for the internet! (see below for the pg ones)

it's so difficult to say goodbye, so i'm putting it off for as long as possible.

there was candlelight…

…and calligraphy

liz and rach

jon and scorp

jon and i

patty and ev

maeve and aaron, way down at the other end of the table!

you can’t have a picture of tom and shannon without the quintessential tj!

scorp's amazing cleavage and the baby-blue cloth napkin fashioned grim reaper (further illustrating that you may be able to dress us up, but you sure as hell cannot take us out!)

scorp and i

two words: "booby" "tassels"

me with the ever so elegantly dressed shannon!

rachel took this one all by herself!

i love how tj is so comfortable around rach and scorp

...and patty

a great picture of ev and patty

aaron and maeve

teej (simultaneously being second based by rach and shan and giving the shocker)

the mighty radiant scorp and rach

?

when you don't have wireless... but your neighbor does... and his area extends all the way to your casa!

i just saw the most disturbing movie ever.

kids.

in a nutshell, it's about these - yup, you guessed it - kids who, essentially, fuck up their lives (and those of others, as well) before they've even hit puberty.

they sleep around, binge drink, pass out on the cool porcelain of a white toilet, beat the shit out of some dude, "hunt" virgins, take a sick delight in taunting gays, rape drunk chicks, steal from their parents, steal from convenience stores, think they're the shit, and give unsuspecting victims HIV.

the group is followed around for 24 hours, and the 'film' is 91 minutes long.

let me tell you, those 91 minutes were the longest, most awful 5460 seconds of the ticking clock in my life. (SAT's and volleyball practice the morning after junior prom included!!!!!) never, ever have i so wished to be anywhere else.

i tried to keep my eyes closed after about, oh half a minute into it, but to no avail.

lauren, zack, corey, and i subjected ourselves to this torturous work at chez ouellet tonight. (it was zack's, he has watched it in film study with cerros.) while difficult to digest (forget the possibilty of enjoying it!), zack had a good point - this twisted work got us all thinking. we voiced our opinions and clashed over ideas, but in the end, i guess the film did what it was supposed to because here i am blogging about it.

if you do watch it, be forewarned. i would never have been able to view it all in one sitting, i think it's more of a two nighter.

if you have a weak stomach and/or a strong mind, make sure a bucket/porcelain god is nearby because i felt like puking the entire time i was watching it.

REVIEW RANKS PC 2ND IN BEER CONSUMPTION

URI ranks low in study time and quality of professors, while Brown makes the grade for happy students.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

BY CATHLEEN F. CROWLEY
Journal Staff Writer

PROVIDENCE -- Several Rhode Island colleges moved up in rankings released yesterday by the Princeton Review, but these are not categories that make school administrators proud.

Providence College ranked 2nd in the nation for the most beer consumed, up from 20th last year. The University of Rhode Island ranked 11th for the least amount of studying and URI professors rated 15th worst in the nation, based on student opinion.

Despite the students' assessments, the colleges can take comfort in the fact that The Princeton Review only surveys schools considered among the academic best, about 15 percent of colleges. The rankings were published in The Princeton Review's "The Best 361 Colleges," which goes on sale today.

The survey collects information about academic and campus life, including the distinction of the best party school. The University of Wisconsin-Madison was named the number one party school, and the only New England schools to make the list were the University of Massachusetts, Amherst (9th), and the University of New Hampshire (17th).

For the 10th year in a row, URI was not named a party school. The university barred alcohol from all social and athletic events in 1995 after The Princeton Review ranked URI the top party school three years in a row.

URI officials could not be reached yesterday for comment about students' perception about professors, but student comments in Princeton Review's profile of the school spoke more favorably of their instructors.

URI students said professors go out of their way to help students and are experienced in the fields they are teaching, according to the profile.

"There are some amazing professors that really get you thinking, but others are not so passionate," one student said.

Brown University scored high in the eyes of its students. Brown ranked 3rd, up from 14th, for the happiest students. The university's radio stations -- Brown has two -- rated 9th for popularity. The school was among the top 10 hardest to get into.

Providence College spokesman Edward J. Caron said the school had not received the information on Princeton Review's latest rankings. He was skeptical of the organization's methodology. In the past, he said, the publication has carried over quotes and comments from students in consecutive editions of the annual survey.

Suzanne J. Podhurst, an editor from the Princeton Review, said students submit online surveys all year long, and schools are formally surveyed every three years. The four Rhode Island colleges that appear in the book were all surveyed during the last school year, Podhurst said. However, she did not know how many students responded from PC or other Rhode Island schools.

"If you know anything about the schools, you will think that they are properly ranked," Podhurst said.

Caron said Providence College has adopted programs to prevent alcohol abuse, including an alcohol education class for students who violate the alcohol policy.

PC students also noted a lack of diversity at the school. Princeton Review ranked PC 12th for low acceptance of homosexuality and 4th for homogeneous student population.

(article found here)

each day seems to be getting shorter and shorter. there are still so many things i need to do before school starts in seven (7) days. paint a purple buddha, see the sunrise, read three (3) more books.

i've been told to just take it one day at a time, but even that is becoming way too much for me. just this week alone i said goodbye to tom, shannon, corey, zack, nick, ross, pat, and patty.

i've never been good at goodbyes. i feel as though i've written about this before. i know i'll see everyone at thanksgiving, but... things will be different. not weird different or anything - we'll still be goofy and geek out at the stupidest things and it will be exactly the same - but the circumstances will be different. i'll inevitably have to say goodbye again. and i am hating that.

i went over to dan's the other day and we ate lunch from pick pockets (delicious greek deli, ginormous sandwiches with yummy vegetarian things like hummus and tabouleh and falafel oh my!), played with his adorable puppy chloe, and watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. that night, nick and i went to thayer and enjoyed sitting in the window at starbucks, people watching and sipping on iced passion tea (me) and iced latte (him). he's not going too far - wentworth in boston and corey will be right nearby at emmanuel, so i hope to be visiting them sometime in october, maybe hit up some concerts in the city and the ansel adams exhibit at the museum of fine arts.

the other morning, ross came over for breakfast at chez kowal and we ended up just sitting on my porch and talking for almost five hours about everything and nothing at the same time. it was perfect. he's such a wonderful friend and it was so good to see him, especially since he leaves today!

last night nana and tata had their annual end of the summer clambake bash '05, so rye and i stopped by for a little while, hung out with jacknmatt (god, they are the freakin' coolest cousins everrrrr), played with a wooden train set, and teased them about their kindergarten loves.

afterward i went over to patty's and shared some laughs that have to last me a few weeks. i know i'll be seeing her before columbus day (i'll visit her or vice versa) so it's all good. later on, i went back to ryan's for some chillage and goodbyeage to pat and we watched the andy milkonakis show after i ate all the frosting off a cake his mom made (we're going to blame it on his deaf cat, helen). needless to say, by the time i got home this morning, i was exhausted and crashed until just before noontime today.

the shopping continues, but i've moved from clothes to dvds and more books. this week i added eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and romeo + juliet to the movie collection. books: the tipping point by malcolm gladwell; how i paid for college: a novel of sex, friendship, theft, and musical theatre by marc acito (HILARIOUS!! i loved it, quick read); the journals of kurt cobain; and i still need to finish siddhartha by herman hesse

looks like i've got my work cut out for me this week.

by your side
sade

you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that
you think i'd leave you down when you're down on your knees
i wouldn't do that
i'll tell you you're right when you want
ha ah ah ah ah ah
and if only you could see into me

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me

when you're on the outside baby and you can't get in
i will show you you're so much better than you knowwhen you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again
i will find you darling and i will bring you home

and if you want to cry
i am here to dry your eyes
and in no time
you'll be fine

you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that
you think id leave you down when you're down on your knees
i wouldn't do that
i'll tell you you're right when you want
ha ah ah ah ah ah
and if only you could see into me

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me
when you're low
i'll be there
by your side baby

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me
oh when you're low
i'll be there
by your side baby

i consulted my school calendar today.

Holidays:
9/5 - Labor Day
10/10 - Columbus Day
11/23 - 11/27 - Thanksgiving Break
12/20 - 1/17 - Christmas Break
2/20 - President's Day
3/4 - 3/12 - Spring Break
4/13 - 4/17 - Easter Break

Last day: 5/16

maybe this won't be so bad.
fuck dude i'm so afraid of college.
every time i think about it my stomach turns.

allow me to express how happy i am for not choosing tulane.

emergency evacuation info

fuck you, rain.
you made me waste precious gas driving to gansett and back.

tonight...
we watched benny and joon and laughed about the line "shame about raisins." we talked about his illustrating a hiphop children's book with his grafitti tag and joked about our 6th grade english teacher ('wedderbuns'). we drank thick chocolate milk from munroe dairy and chowed down on oreos. we made sure the backseat of the truck (purple dragon) didn't smell like alcohol, and drove around town with the windows down just in case. we imported cd's from alanis and gwen and weezer and jay-z and the bouncing souls and dmb (times three) and jakob dylan and the wallflowers. we browsed through sketchbooks and packed them away in his trunk for school. we facebooked (of course). we drove to a nearby minimart when i needed jujyfruits. we talked about how we both complained about the rain today, then told one another how much we kind of begrudgingly enjoyed it. we traded secrets. we laughed over escapades on private beaches and run-in's with overweight security guards. we discussed cleavage and lack thereof. we browsed the artwork of theodore robinson. we teased emma and helen. we debated if suge knight killed tupac. we laughed at tattoos.

i savored every second, knowing my best friend leaves in 48 hours and should have been gone last friday ... but chose to stay instead.

further my attempts to become a streetwalking, 5'4" j. crew magazine (and simultaneously spend too much of my bank account)

cashmere cardigan v neck sweater (in azalea)
stretch cotton sateen shirt (in espresso)
nantucket strip vintage tissue tee (in cherry)
capri sandals (in black)