"Hi. My name is Jess and I am a shopaholic."
"Hiiiiiiiii, Jesssssssss."
when you are not feeling well, what do you do? maybe you take a tylenol, a nap, or a mental health day off from school. me? i shop. rarely do i really let go and indulge in any and everything i want. the daughter of an accountant, i have been raised to be a tightwad. frugal. in lay man's terms, outright cheap.
i saved all last year for my trip to europe last month, and somehow i still managed to not spend a good $400.
my goal this week for myself was to spend that. now that is a goal i can very easily accomplish. especially when i think of pc and how everyone is so preppy and un-hippie like. apparently my flowy skirts, tie dye sheets, and jeans from savers aren't welcome.
case in point: at my orientation, those super-perky way-too-shameless orientation leaders held skits. all of the bio majors were sitting on the floor in their uber-trendy orientation outfits (admittedly, i wore a lacoste polo. but only after consulting jon first!) (and, yes, i said we were sitting on the floor. i haven't sat on the floor during an assembly since i was in the eighth grade) and i spotted a girl wearing jeans and a knee length skirt - *gasp* at the same time. obviously, she didn't fit in, but in my mind i thought that maybe i would have a friend here after all - do you think she'd want to room with me? maybe her parents made her go here, too....
well, as it turned out, the skit was about stereotypes and the girl i had glimpsed was the butt end of several hippie slurs and rude whispers.
the scene keeps playing over in my head, except i'm her.
determined not to let this happen to me, i set out for wrentham on thursday with one of my two fashion gurus: lauren. this chica knows her stuff and i consult her all the time. an absolute doll, she is always there for me (fashion and otherwise!) and was eager to take me under her wing as we hit the outlets. and boy, they did not know what hit them!
not one, but two ralph lauren sweaters (what if i had bought the crew neck, but everyone else owned the v-neck!?!? what then???!!!). also, a lovely white bathroom with the cute little blue polo label on the left. while browsing ralph's sale rack,i discovered a delicious deal on long-sleeved tissue tshirts, so of course i had to get one of those, too!
at chico's, i bought a laguna belt. in one purchase, i doubled my belt collection.
at gap, a pretty-in-pink long sleeved shirt
at coach, i found the laptop bag of my dreams (it's not on coach.com because it's last year's model, but it looks kind of like this except with a zipper...) and subsequently was roped into buying a leathercare moisturizer product. it was here that my debit card reached it's daily limit.
content, we headed home.
at this point, my goal for the week had been met and surpassed. but, no, that was not enough for me. you all know i'm quite the over achiever....
so last night sir jon wall and i attacked the providence place and thayer street. this time jon was the one maxing out his card. i merely browsed whilst he bedecked himself in gorgeous sweaters with crests, emo-esque polos, at guess, j.crew, and urban outfitters. we had a spare moment for me to pick up an angora sweater at banana republic. once on thayer, we paid a visit to berks, where jon bought his much coveted lacoste shoes and i indulged in a pair of hot pink and very much on sale $13 yellow box beaded slip ons. exhausted and starving, we not only rushed to the candy shop (*must be sung in 50 cent voice) before it closed (i bought peach rings, jon bought a lollipop with a dead scorpion inside) but also hit up johnny rockets where i devoured an entire plate of pickles and drank diet coke until i thought my bladder would explode.
it was delightful to catch up with jonnie-boy and lament the loss of our heroine madeleine (she's STILL in california!!!!!), who, it should be noted, is launching her goddesslike body from an airplane this very day.
so, in all, for those of you who skipped all that and jumped to the end, the moral of the story is: in order to feel good about yourself, spend every paycheck you received all summer on clothes. splurge. go absolutely nuts. pretend you're on sex and the city. indulge in your inner label whore (you know you have one, too.)
i promise you - you'll look good for the entire first week of college. (maybe even the first 8 days!!!)