smileyjess

i sat in civ and contemplated how incredibly fucked up (there really is no other way to describe it) euripides' play the trojan women is as the wind whipped outside and waves of melancholy washed over me. i put down my pen (gasp!) and stopped taking notes (the horror!) and rubbed my eyes for a good 30 seconds before i even remembered that people were around me (josh, allie, and i sit on the comfy couch in that class, so it's quite easy to forget i'm supposed to be paying attention...).

from the corners of my eyes little black dots swam around in the range of my peripheral vision and coagulated and eventually took over every square micrometer of my retinas, i swear. everything turned foggy and blurry, and i couldnt even see my hand (the one not holding my trusty blue ink papermate pen), much less the tiny college ruled blue lines against the suddenly unnaturally brilliant white of my notebook page. my head was too heavy to hold up, and - call me crazy - (you wouldn't be the first!!!) - i could feel my blood pulsing in the backs of my eyes.

i discreetly tried to not fall asleep slash flip the fuck out. every tiny noise - the rustling of paper, chalk on the board, someone clearing their throat - caused me to involuntarily flinch. all i wanted to do was curl up into a ball and bury myself between the five pillows on my bed. which was exactly what i did afterwards, for a whopping half an hour before i had a really scary dream where i became so dizzy that i vomited (it should be noted that dream jess was not drunk) and collapsed on the cool linoleum of the second story floor of mcvin.

frightening realistic, i abruptly awoke and tried to shake my head clear of these foggy images, which was a bad idea, because it seemed to counteract the four tylenol i had taken this morning (not all at once, don't worry!)

i'm feeling somewhat better - went out with ben, will, jeff, and liv to stock up on items necessary for our western themed cowboy/girl shindig we're planning for this weekend (on my shopping list: big chunky belt and a loneranger esque hat with curled sides; on theirs: a blender for mixed drinks and a funnel... not very western if you ask me!)

now it's late again (damn you bio), my eyes hurt (though not nearly as badly!) and i wanted to be in bed an hour ago. so it goes.

sweet(er) dreams.

p.s. - out of curiousity, how do you know when you have an arrhythmic heartbeat?