when i'm fumbling for the right words, grasping at invisible straws infinitely out of reach, drowning in the cold depths of silences and sighs, my strained eyes scan the entirety of the darkness, settling on minute dust particles resting on picture frames, crumbs burrowed in the bristles of the carpet, dirty dishes half filled with soapy water after an abandoned attempt to return the room into some semblance of order.
i became dizzy, disoriented. not only at a loss of words, but also just plain lost. directionless.
this was supposed to be my cue to leave. cut, end scene, that's a wrap. my grand finale. oh, so grand, indeed. i willed my lead-laden legs to take me to the door. my hands suddenly seemed too heavy to lift up to the height of the doorknob. the set hazily floated above my spinning mind.
and then.
then his hand took mine. no, i couldn't leave. my finale is probably a situation much like this started, but it seems i had been duped for the time being. something in me told me that althought this scene was just ending, the next act was right around the corner.
i couldn't possibly make my nonchalant exit only to return with a curtsy and a beaming yet humble smile. the script continued, the show went on.