jane says, "i'm done with sergio... he treats me like a ragdoll..."
preoccupied with imperfect reflections in pristinely clean glass windows and mismatched parts, unfinished wholes. what are you worth when you're the only one looking, though? what happens when you don't want to, can't bear to look anymore? what are you worth when no one is looking?
nothing makes sense (does it ever, though, i wonder?)
days pass like seconds but somehow manage to seem longer than they actually are. (nope, it doesnt. ever. this i know for sure.)
i desperately try to see the light's reflection in puddles but some days are just so. much. more. difficult. than others.
last week in lab we submerged minute organisms in a molasses-like liquid and i can't help but wonder if sometimes that's what we're occasionally subjected to at the whim of some unknown and un-understood. not mis-understood because that implies a level of understanding, albeit a wrong level. no, i mean un-understood, as in no level of understanding whatsoever. completely incomprehensible.
i catch myself and wonder how is it possible to feel as thought everything is spinning entirely out of control yet simultaneously stuck in the same repeating cycle? that no matter what i do, i always end up back where i started? feeling as though i should be somewhere else but decidedly not?
looking at the view from the same place but a different perspective? maybe from a little lower than before? maybe from an inconceivably low valley?
there are so many more questions than answers. but that, at least, is something all too familiar.
i want my needs to be congruous with my wants and vice versa.
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."
-Mitch Hedberg