i can't explain it, but i can feel major changes on the horizon. i can't tell if it is good, i can't tell if it is bad. all that i know is something is soon not to be the same as it currently is.
has anyone else ever felt this way? things are good, i am good. better than i have been in a few months, actually.
i'm practicing differentiating psychological time and clock time from each other. too often (read: all the freakin' time) i am too caught up in things that have been and things that are to be, instead of simply just allowing myself to absorb with to the utmost extent of every sense what is present. i am practicing acceptance - of people, of things, but mostly of situations. i am not dwelling, i am not ruminating. i am simply being. i am present. that is all that matters. not what happened yesterday, not what is going to happen tomorrow. i am practicing a new mantra: "no matter what happens, i will create no more pain for myself. no matter what happens, i will create no more problems for myself." in not creating pain myself, i create no more pain for others. i refuse to contaminate my psyche with the negativity of problem-making.
i can't remember the last time i was this genuinely happy for absolutely no reason at all.
and maybe that is the change i am feeling.