after you left i shut my eyes and lie on my bed with my legs dangling and turned off my phone and listened to the rain on my window and honestly felt nothing for a few minutes. it was better than feeling sad.
i got in my car and didn't notice i had turned off the radio. the windshield wipers swayed to the odd silence.i stopped and parked far away in the parking lot of my favourite bookstore/cafe and carried my umbrella over me and jumped in puddles wearing suede shoes and didn't care and smiled at the splashes. warmed up with a steaming mug of tea and a good book. drove home just as the streetlights were turning on and night was tucking itself in for the evening.
fell asleep on the couch. woke up not remembering what it felt like to not feel.